Everything that needs to be done has been done, and has been done by Him! He did nothing wrong. I did. It's not you Lord, it's me! This is an easy fact to acknowledge, but not an easy reality to live within. My pride gets in the way. My self-righteousness won't have it.
"What did I do wrong?"
And repent. Reid, you shared a similar concept of repentance at AIA a few months back, and it hasn't left my frontal lobe since. It's not just saying sorry and hanging your head in shame. If that's all it is, your head may be down, but you're still headed in the same direction! Christ's call is to turn around, face Him, His shining face, blazing eyes. Christ, not shame, is the fuel for real change and restoration. Shame restores religion and disconnect. Christ restores relationship and intimacy.
"Come back."
Re-do. God pushed my reset button last summer. I won't let Him now. There's too much I want to hold onto. Position, image, activities, friendships, the list goes on. And all of these things? They came from Him. But I've forgotten my first love.
"What am I doing here
If you're not with me?
What have I got to live for, if it's just my own dream
Take it back to the beginning, back to the start
When gravity's pulling, you're still holding my heart
You come crashing down" -Crashing Down by Mat Kearney
Take it back to the beginning! Come crashing down!
I envision Christ as a lover who wants to spend every moment in intimate relationship with me, but he finds me walking away from him and into the arms of another lesser idol. His heart aches because he knows that the only true love comes from him. After we remember what we had when we were with him, we feel ashamed for what we've done and we assume that there's no way he would want us back after how we've treated him. But he calls out to us, he extends mercy and grace, meets us where we're at and calls us back to him. He waits with open arms to receive his lover, washing away what has been done, rejoicing in what is to come.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of which context to view my brokenness in. Often, I "hang my head" over it and continue down a stream of lies about who I really am and whether or not I 'warrant' love. Yet, when we view brokenness in the context of the fullness of Christ we find freedom and fulfillment. We find a home that beckons us and lavishes us. "How great is the love that the Father has lavished on us that we would be called his children" 1 John 3:1.
ReplyDeleteAll we have to do is come back and stay at home with Him.