Week 20 - The Scariest Words I Know How to Pray - Jesus, make me like you.

Favorite Quotes
The whole point of the book is to engender an encounter with him. An encounter than then empowers us to follow him and his paradoxical way. (381)

It is time to bring in the long-awaited, redeeming and recreating rule of God. (382)

Do you see what this means? Jesus Christ is inescapable. (385)

If you and I can just see Jesus in our circumstances, we can keep going. (386)

My favorite quote is "if you and I can just see Jesus in our circumstances, we can keep going."

Dear Jesus, I really do want to be more like you and see you; however, you are so powerful and passionate and intense I think I hide from you while simultaneously seeking to approach you.

Your power and glory rattle my heart and skull to the extent that I flee your presence and call. I can totally relate to Moses when you turned the staff to a serpent. I see you work and think "that's unbelievable" and then I say to myself "get me out of here" for your power and beauty seems at times extremely peculiar and overwhelming.

Thank you for doing everything possible at all times to gently and patiently teach me by Revelation. I cannot tame you. I cannot master you. I can only submit to your Revelation which occurs moment by moment with every breath that you choose to give me.

Please God, when I encounter your Revelation, I pray that through your clever little seed of faith in me, you would grant me the trust to step into the mystery of a far greater and powerful story than my own which is your meaning, your truth, your life, and your love.

Push me to say with my lips and confess with my heart that Jesus Christ is Lord.

You are the fountain of hope, meaning, truth, beauty, life, light, and love my soul craves.

Give me the wisdom and trust to drink the terrifying and perfect meal you set for me each day - body broken, blood shed in sacrificial love.

Week 19 - Hatred by the Synagogue - The Consequence of Compassion

Week 19 - Meant to post this last week but got tangled up with family road trip so here it is now.

I may not know what the future holds but I do know who holds the future (358.)

Our picture of the future automatically shapes the way we live in the present (360.)

The story that has creation for its first word, has creation for its last word (360.)"

The cities of man, he writes, have been built as part of our attempt to run from God.” Jacques Ellul (361.)

In the new city the forces of chaos are gone. What Jesus shows John is that God’s dwelling place is no longer an identifiable separate space with the city. God’s dwelling place is the city itself – everywhere. It is all Temple. (365)"

The whole city is sacred. (367)

Being Israel means giving one’s life away for the Gentiles. (368)

He stands at the very center of everything as the source of the glory of God (374).

The lamp is the lamb! (374)

My favorite quote (because it challenges my hard heart so completely) from the entire chapter (double mention here) - "Being Israel means giving one’s life away for the Gentiles. (368)"

This word of truth, compassion for the gentiles, literally got Jesus thrown out of the synagogue with the folks at the church seeking to kill him - Luke 4:28.

They loved him and accepted him until he preached on God's heart and compassion for gentiles and then they hated him. Like Jesus, love for those outside our synagogue (assembly) is what likely can and will bring the division and hatred that Christ promises those who walk His path. Incredible.

Excitment

This has been on my heart since reading this chapter. I also have been deep into Esther this semester and I really have been impressed with how in tune she is with the Spirit, how she is ready at all times for the Lord. Anyways, I have been really just sitting in the glory of God...of His greatness, His grace, His love, His passion, and sitting just really reflecting upon how I need to just wait upon the Lord. Oh how I am so excited to meet Him face to face the day upon His arrival!I went to a wedding this past weekend and really got excited about the image of Jesus being the bridegroom and me just walking down the isle with pure excitement...and how wonderful it will be just having the church surrounding me daily, as they already do, with smiles and words of the Bible on their tongues! Anyways...I am excited to say the least...eager, waiting in anticipation! Our God is and awesome God.

YOU’LL COME
(Hosea 6) Brooke Fraser 2007

Verse 1
I have decided I have resolved
To wait upon you Lord
My rock and redeemer shall not be moved
I?ll wait upon you Lord

Prechorus
As surely as the sun will rise
You?ll come to us
As certain as the dawn appears

Chorus
You'll come let your glory fall
As you respond to us
Spirit reign flood our hearts
With holy fire again

Verse 2
We are not shaken we are not moved
We wait upon you Lord
Our Mighty deliverer my triumph and truth
I'll wait upon you Lord

Bridge
Chains be broken
Lives be healed
Eyes be opened
Christ is revealed

glory and freedom and the IOG

"Now the LORD is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the LORD is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the LORD's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the LORD, who is the Spirit." (2 Cor 3:17-18) As I read Revelation 21 and DOTE ch 29, the above passage sat at the forefront of my mind. I'm going to try to articulate the gigantic and exciting cosmic circle that's in my head... I hope some part of it makes sense!

DJ talks about glory as "whatever it is that makes God be God." The Greek word is translated "the heaviness of God's self-manifestation" and the working translation I generally use is "the manifestation of the excellence of God's character, the display of his holiness and worth in beauty." God's glory is a pretty magnificent thing! Next, John discovers where the source of this glory, this heaviness of God's self-manifestation, comes from. Are we even surprised to learn that it comes from the Lamb who was slaughtered? No. TANATS.

But the discussion of glory came in the midst of the greater discussion about God making all things new, not making all new things. Big difference. Enter the IOG and the 2 Cor passage: You and I know we are made in the image of God. And those of you who have spent more than 10 minutes with me know how much God has rocked my worldview through the deepening of my understanding of the IOG. We are made in God's image, made to reflect who he is and what he is about. Made to reflect faithfulness, freedom, gentleness, grace, holiness, kindness, love, mercy, patience, righteousness, glory... the list goes on forever. Naturally, we display this image in extremely finite and broken ways, as compared to his infinite and perfect ways, and yet we display the image just the same. On good days and bad days, whether we want to or not.

And then here's the kicker. As you and I conform our lives to be more like Jesus, who is "the image of the invisible God," we live out 2 Cor 3:18! Our faces are unveiled and we are able to see what Moses could not. We see the face of God, we see his glory, and our unveiled faces are transformed into this same likeness with ever-increasing glory! It's just this gigantic explosion of God's glory as we experience him in his glory and reflect him in his glory and finally "get" more fully what it means to actually be made in his image. Some of this we experience now, yes, and some of it we will experience most fully when Revelation 21 becomes a reality. It's part of that "already but not yet" paradox.

And all this glory "comes from the LORD, who is the Spirit," who is also "the Lamb who was slain" (well hello Trinitarian language AGAIN). "And wherever this Spirit of the LORD is, there is freedom!"

Maybe this week I'll do a better job of living in the reality that the Spirit of the LORD is with me, that freedom is mine, that God's glory is to be experienced and increasingly reflected, and that in that process God is most fully glorified as I most fully live out who I was created to be: a beloved daughter created in the image of her Creator.

Week 18 - Rev 20, CH 26-27

Favorite Quotes
First, each of the three options has been developed by godly students of the Bible, by people who sincerely want to understand God’s word and who want to submit their lives to it. (335) Steve's comment "Sweet humility:

Where the three agree – the best is yet to come!, the future is not up for grabs. The future is not in our hands. (337)

“Keep your eyes on the one who causes us to come to life." (345)

“White is the color of purity and of justice.” (349)

“And I will fall at His feet, a puddle of gratitude and joy.” (357) - This is my favorite sentence in the chapter.

Well, Paul says that we are more than conquerers and that Christ has us seated in the heavenly places. I'm challenged by the reading, as I have been in many other chapters, to lead like Jesus which pushes me to:

1. Exhibit Joy in suffering for suffering reveals Faith (Christ and/or seed of Christ rising in us.) - I Peter and James.

2. Declare the praises of Him who called me out of darkness into His light (I Peter again - as a royal priest.)

3. Conquering through Christs' power as Christs' body broken and blood shed. In other words, drawing people to Christ by suffering for all in love.

Option Number Two Please

Our God is so good!

In the past year of my life, I have felt the increased pressure from God to challenge my own identity and question what I believe. In this year, God has blessed me with people to push buttons and ask the questions that I was not strong enough, or didn't even know how to ask myself. These questions have been sharpening and pruning my faith and strengthening me like nothing I have even known. I am very thankful for those people because through them God has empowered me to start recognizing those challenges directly from Him. And today I have felt that challenge full force. In the midst of my day today I sat down and journaled about the topic of beauty and identity. I kept hearing the question again and again in my head, "where do you find your beauty Jennifer? In me? Or these worldly treasures?"

This question has been plaguing me for the past week because my IPhone sadly died last week. Yes, you may be laughing reading this (possibly on your own personal IPhone) but think about it...how much reliance and faith do we put on worldly things? Using a phone that functioned for text messages and calls made me realize how much importance the world today focuses on material possessions. As I walked into the AT&T store to shop for a new phone that could "do it all" I kept asking myself, "do you really need this?" It saddened me to think that so many people live through technological interactions such as texting or e-mails and lack the every so simple and so meaningful human face-to-face interaction. I know I am stretching this analogy pretty far in saying this but that is one of the ways people in this world create an identity outside of an identity in Christ. By finding earthly things to latch onto and claim to make them into something.

Finally, tonight while reading through chapter 27 with a group of loving friends, Darrel stated, "When you join "the great and the small" and stand before the great white throne, and God asks you, 'Why should I let you enter the new city, the new heaven and the new earth, and not cast you into the lake of fire?' what will you say?" (357) I pray and I hope that God continues to work out in me, and in all of you friends, and all of the world around us, how to take the second option and "take our stand on the basis of what Jesus Christ has done with his life" as our identity instead of taking "our stand in what we have done in with our lives."

Because our God is good. SO good! "And look! A throne. With someone sitting on it. The throne is not vacant. The throne is not up for grabs. Many have tried to take it from the One who sits on it, but none have succeeded. None will succeed. None CAN succeed." (348)

The Birds

I am glad God has called me to be a living sacrifice.

If Christ didn't incessantly (all the time, moment by moment)and patiently sacrifice my flesh and blood, I would surely not inherit the Kingdom of God.

(I COR. 15:50 - I declare to you, brothers, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable.)

With this verse as a back drop, I repeat, if Christ didn't persistently and incessantly cut and devour my flesh and blood I would surely not inherit the kingdom of God.

If He didn't cut away my flesh with His word of truth I'd definitely miss out on this: Revelation 21:22-27 - I did not see a temple in the city, because the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are its temple.The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp. The nations will walk by its light, and the kings of the earth will bring their splendor into it. On no day will its gates ever be shut, for there will be no night there. The glory and honor of the nations will be brought into it. Nothing impure will ever enter it, nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb’s book of life.

Dear Jesus, as a lonely king, who still hides behind walls of virtue to boast about my strengths and hide my weaknesses, please send me to the "gory feast of the birds, who eat up the carcasses of God's enemies (Kings of the earth are thrown into this lot - Rev 19:19-21)" (Darrell Johnson 324)

Cut away my flesh and blood. Let the birds rip apart my kingliness so that this lonely king can humbly walk by your light and your splendor.

Amen.

I Peter - "You are royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God. Once you were not a people. But now you are the people of God. Once you had not received mercy but now you have received mercy."

It is finished? It is done?

Sorry to go for the double post on you guys (especially because this is going to be a nerdy one), but something's been at the back of my mind for a couple of chapters and I want your opinion on it.

I noticed that a few chapters ago, John writes "It is done." Now, mentally, we all instantly when to the cross and heard the "It is finished" parallel, but I got to thinking - why did they translate it differently in Revelation than in John's gospel?

So when "It is done" came up again this chapter, I decided to look up the original. Turns out the Greek has two different words too. So at first, I thought maybe I was just reading too much into it - so there's two different words, so what?

But the thing is, it's the same author. And not just any same author - John was an eyewitness to both events. Why would the man who stood AT THE CROSS and listened to the last words of his dying Savior and the man who heard the Word of YHWH from the throne write down anything other than exactly what he heard? Which, in turn, begs my second question: Why would God choose a different word each time? He knows our hearts, he knows specific words carry specific connotations for us - why did He make this distinction?

telew: finished, complete, perfected, paid for
This is the word used in John 19 and in a bunch of different places throughout the NT, like "His power is perfected in weakness" or "He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion."

gignomai: to be, become; to come to pass; to finish, perform
This is the word we find in both Revelation 16 and 21. It's commonly used... but not so much with this meaning. More often that not it has that first "be" or "become" connotation, not really the "finishing/completion" one.

Obviously there are subtle differences in the word meanings, but I think there are also subtle differences in what is being completed. Both events are cataclysmic and decisive. They provide such intense completion, perfection, and fullness, but somehow I feel like they are slightly different sides of the same coin, and I can't quite piece together exactly what it is. Or at least, I can't quite piece together how that slight distinction relates to the slight distinction between the words.

Thoughts?

I felt super convicted this week by this little tid-bit from the millennium chapter:

"The question is not merely theoretical - as though the issues were disconnected from the concrete issues of our daily lives. The way we answer the question affects the way we live. It especially affects the way we pray. The answer expects what we think can happen as a result of our little acts of witness.

"Thankfully, the reality packed into the word 'millennium' is not tied to our understanding of the word millennium. That is, no matter where we come out, if we are in Jesus Christ, we participate in the millennium reality - whatever it is!" (pg 336)

I think my tendency with highly debated issues like this is to just ignore them for the most part. I get sick of the division they can bring, and so I just avoid it. My stock answer would be to say that I believe God is big enough to work in any of those cases, and someday, when we get to heaven, we'll figure all that out.

But this chapter reminded me how much of a cop out that can be. It's not just some disconnected theoretical issue - it's a reflection of the way I see my God because they ways we expect Him to act reflect the ways we view His character. Granted, I still don't want to get caught up in messy philosophical debates about the millennium topic (or any other "hot topic" like creation vs. evolution, etc.), but I want to at least give myself license to wrestle with the issue and seek to know who He is through that issue.

"What I want to shout from the mountain tops is that what we agree on is so much greater than what we disagree on! If only we were to simply live what we agree on and live what we should agree on!" (pg 339)

A, B, or C?

My take on Chapter 26 - I remember when I interviewed for a Youth Pastor position one time and the senior pastor of the church really wanted to know what my "Eschatology" was.  At the time I was 24 years old and all I knew for sure, 100%, was that Jesus was coming back and I needed to be ready.  So that was my answer 11 years ago.  Now after reading more books than I can count and listening to countless sermons my answer is this.......Jesus is coming back and I need to be ready!  

My take on Chapter 27 - My faith informs my actions.  Look at my actions and I will discover where or in what I place my faith.  In the cross of Christ alone I place my faith and by that act all my actions are radically affected! This has been a killer study.  I really appreciate all the blogging and reading everyone has done!  2 more weeks! 

"Bring forth the royal diadem and crown him Lord of all"

“Diadems – crowns – are symbols of victory. On his head are many victories – too many to count!... When Jesus rides to the final battle, he rides having won many victories. And I am one of them! And so are you! Every human being, who is walking with Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord, is a diadem on his head. Every person whom Jesus has set free from the ultimate powers of sin and evil and death is a diadem on his head.” (p. 326)

What an incredible image of this Jesus who truly is Lord above all lords and King above all kings! We already know he has all authority and all power, but here we see in royal imagery that he also has all victory. And you and I are part of that victory! So rich! We had a special “resurrection chapel” today (first chapel after Easter and spring break) and we sang “All Hail the Power of Jesus’ Name” I included the whole song because as we sang I was swept away (as I often am, these days) by the richness of Revelation imagery in the song. (Not to mention that it was super cool to have a girl in a full wedding gown and with her face veiled walk the length of the gym up to the cross and then bow at the foot of the cross as we sang…) But I was especially hit by the last two stanzas of verse one because I had just finished the reading from last week earlier this morning. May we live today in view of the truth of the victory that has been won for our individual souls and the reality that our lives are diadems upon the head of the Lord of all…

-Emily

All hail the power of Jesus’ name!
Let angels prostrate fall;
Bring forth the royal diadem
And crown him Lord of all.
Bring forth the royal diadem
And crown him Lord of all.

Crown him, you martyrs of our God,
Who from his altar call;
Extol the stem of Jesse’s rod
And crown him Lord of all.
Extol the stem of Jesse’s rod
And crown him Lord of all.

O seed of Israel’s chose race,
Now ransomed from the fall,
Hail him who saves you by his grace
And crown him Lord of all.
Hail him who saves you by his grace
And crown him Lord of all.

Hail him, you heirs of David’s line,
Whom David Lord did call,
The God Incarnate, man divine,
And crown him Lord of all.
The God Incarnate, man divine,
And crown him Lord of all.

Sinners, whose love can never forget
The wormwood and the gall,
Go, spread you trophies at his feet
And crown him Lord of all.
Go, spread you trophies at his feet
And crown him Lord of all.

Let every kindred, every tribe
On this terrestrial ball
To him all majesty ascribe
And crown him Lord of all.
To him all majesty ascribe
And crown him Lord of all.

Oh, that with yonder sacred throng
We at his feet may fall!
We’ll join the everlasting song
And crown him Lord of all.
We’ll join the everlasting song
And crown him Lord of all.

Revelation 24/Week 16 - Wrestling with Adultery

DJ writes, "If we are engaged to the Lamb, then sin is worse than we thought. Sin is adultery." (315)

Personally, the sin of adultery looks a lot to me like murder. What I mean is that committing adultery involves taking the life of another by using them in order to gain our own reward. They become a means to our objective and end. As a professional Christian I have fallen victim to this again and again for as Anthony de Mello has said (I paraphrase) "Religious leaders are unusually bent toward cruelty for they have become accustomed to sacrificing people for a cause." Instead of seeing all people at all times as "THE PRIZE" for which I am called to be a bond servant, I too often seek to be served.

So, now that you've heard a brief attempt at understanding my personal struggle with adultery, I want to simply quote from scripture God's specific rebuke against the detestable practices of adulterous Israel Ezekiel 16.

He chides Israel for adultery and specifically details some of the adulterous sins of Sodom to make His point. What were the wicked practices that He describes?

"She (Sodom) and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty." (Ezekiel 16:49)

So, What does the sin of Sodom and adultery look like? Being arrogant, unconcerned, not helping the poor, not helping the needy, feeling haughty.

Lord God, please soften my heart such that I am less concerned with feeding my hunger for food and credit and I am more concerned with generously serving my neighbor in this city.

Throwback: The Letters to the Churches

You know, this morning at Easter service, our pastor said these words about the Resurrection:

---God did not give up on Jesus. (Context: Jesus was handed over to, but not given up to death, because he DEFEATED it)
---God will not give up on you.
---So why should you give up?

Simple....and yet I believe it describes the common thread among all of the things Paul wrote to the churches about, because that's all what it really comes down to. Jesus has already won...so we'd be fools not to accept the peace and victory he offers through that open door!

God gave us the beautiful gift today, friends. May we always see we never have a reason to be afraid or lose heart....Jesus has the keys! May we continue letting him in so we can rejoice with him not just today, but always.

Happy Easter....he is risen!


PS: These last four months, I had been going through a dark night of the soul, as I mentioned in some previous posts. This weekend, I felt the first of the effects of his unseen work within me...I feel like my ability to have intimacy with God is slowly starting to seep back in. All praise to him for carrying me through this and many other things these last few days!

Babylonness in My Life

I know I am posting from the reading of last week but I still want to put my two cents in.

To be honest, I do not know how to respond to Chapter 23 in DOTE. I keep attempting to summaries or put my thoughts into a way that others will be able to comprehend but oh well. I just want to throw out all that stuck out to me in 23.

Babylon is an imposter! It is the "code word for humanity seeking to build the city without God." (299) And because of Babylonness it "falls because evil self-destructs. Systems built on principles inconsistent with the living God will not endure." (302) EVIL SELF DESTRUCTS! It does, we have all experienced it. I know I have, when I experience that small moment where I become prideful of my own capabilities and say "God, don't worry about it. I can take care of this one by myself, you go focus on someone who really needs you helping hand." and then BOOM! Everything explodes. A pie to the face, if you will. because evil self-destructs! As Darrel said, "Rome itself was not the problem. Babylonness, which got hold of Rome, was the problem." The Babylonness got hold and seeped into Rome's core. destroying it from the very begining. Whats more is "whatever Babylon John was facing in the first century, it is not the last. There were more to come, which is why it is possibly to wake upone morning and find yourself in Babylon." (295)

The end of this chapter in DOTE left me with such hope. How many times have I been told this and also know this in my heart? And yet I still need reminders, I still need to be sat down and reminded that this world is full of Babylonness but that is not where I am called to live. "Come out of her, my people, that you may not particiapate in her sins and that you may not recieve her plagues." (Rev. 18:4) The call to come out. "To live "in" the city but not "of" the city." (304) I walk through this city everyday, as we all do. I feel so concentrated and stuck in the Babylonness when I go to school. I walk through campus and overhear the conversations about broken relationships spontaneously occuring on weekend escapades, or peers in dance classes talking about their wild parties they attend, or just the witness the isolation in which we all walk in as we move from location to location. I feel saturated in the Babylon taking hold of these people, of this place, this city and then feel it begin to seep into my own being. But then Darrel ends the chapter with an eye opening reminder of the hope we have in Christ Jesus. "That right in the middle of the 'great city' the Lamb who is Lord of lords and King of Kings, who is able to lead us into the ways of the 'greater city' to come. Jesus gave us Revelation to free his church from its 'Babylonian captivity'-to free us for the new city, which will never fail." (304)

Jesus gave us Revelation to free us FOR, for the new city...which will never fail because Jesus Christ is sitting front and center on the thrown not as a Lion but as the Lamb. Dripping with blood...and yet bright blindingly white...calling us to come.

Magnetic North or True North?

Happy Easter! He has risen and is risen!

Ch. 23:

(294)

"It is clear that Revelation is posing the discipleship question in the city: Toward which city is your city oriented? is ti oriented towards the 'great city' or towards the 'Holy City?' And towards which city is your discipleship oriented? Is it oriented towards the harlot or towards the bride?"

I wrote in the column next to this paragraph "Where does your heart point?" Is it pointing to Jesus at the Holy City or toward the harlot? This question drives quite a bit of my thinking as I live in this world. Why am I doing what I am doing? Where does my heart point? It belongs to Him, so it should be pointed toward Him, it is His to begin with. When I am obedient to His City, the Holy City, I find depth in what I do. Am I serving because this brings glory to me? Do I choose what and who "I" want to serve or do I serve everyone? I'm not sure if this was the intention of the paragraph Johnson wrote on page 294, but that is where my mind went.

Andy... Toward which city is your city oriented? Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Ch. 24:

The chapter was, for lack of better words, AWESOME! I was talking with my mom and explained to her that nothing in this book is amazing in and of itself, it is just the fact that it (the Word) is being conveyed in a way that gives a rich background and history to the text. It is like an enhancer! I love it...

All the stuff about the Bridegroom and being Engaged to Him is so DEEP, and so tender! The big house with many rooms- not a new idea to me but in terms of the engagement, so incredible! AHH! (312) "'Here is the bridegroom! Come out. Come out to meet him' ( Matthew 25:6). Then, with great joy, the bridge, veiled and accompanied by her maidens, who were carrying lamps, would come out and join the groom and his attendants. Then the wedding feast itself would begin!"

Father may you continue to cement this into my heart! May I cling to you, May I anxiously await your arrival (You have arrived!) (now but not yet, TANATS!)

Good Friday

"We see in that cross a love so amazing so divine that it loves us even when we turn away from it, or spurn it, or crucify it. There is no faith in Jesus without understanding that on the cross we see into the heart of God and find it filled with mercy."
-Robert G. Trache

I love you all! Blessings to you this good Friday. It is great to spend this weekend remembering Christs death and resurrection, and how it has changed everything! May we be reminded of who Christ is, what is his gospel, what he has done, and what he is doing!

Blessings my dear friends,

Romanced by Jesus, the Bridegroom, from the Cross

Part of the theme of the last 3 1/2 months of my life has been this idea of Jesus romancing me. I don't say that as a girl who is single who needs to know that someone loves her like a man should... but I just mean I can't think of another way to describe it. Charlie Hall sings, "And I know less about you / But my heart loves you so much more" and that's truly been the case in these last few months. I can't "get" it, I can't wrap my brain around Jesus and all that his love, words, and actions encompass, but all I know is that my heart feels romanced by the depth and intimacy of all that he is.

So, naturally, I ate up chapter 24 of DOTE (and Rev 19, obviously, but the two go hand-in-hand). What incredible imagery of engagement! I've never been walked through the ins and outs of first century marriage, but in the course of reading, I found myself completely swept off my feet. The idea that a woman was literally "bought with a price", and that the deal was sealed by drinking a cup of wine, over which a betrothal benediction was pronounced: "this cup is a new covenant" is so rich in light of scripture! And the marriage starts in that instant. It doesn't start at the party or even at the consummation of the marriage in physical intimacy... It starts the second the price has been paid and the cup has been consumed. From that moment on, any sideways look the woman gives another man is ultimately adultery. Even though she hasn't donned a dress or been intimate with her new husband, the covenant is still just as binding. And then, eventually, the bridegroom returns "like a thief in the night". And oh, the little girl in me can only imagine the excitement, the butterflies, and then the wave of serious anticipation for all that will follow. The hype, the celebration, finally being one with her husband... what joy!

Emily, I love you. I have come, I have sought you out, I have hand chosen YOU to be my bride. Yes, I know you weren't expecting me to show up at the well looking for a bride. Yes, I know you would have cleaned up first if you'd had the chance. Yes, I deliberately chose to come when you were in your filthy rags, because it will always serve of a reminder of the truth that my love is not a response to anything "worth" loving in you... it's merely an expression of who I am and what I'm about.

And Emily, you are mine. The bride price has been paid - in my death on the cross - and the cup of the covenant has been consumed. You are mine, and I beg you as the Man who loves you passionately, remain faithful to me while I go to prepare a room in my Father's house for us. I promise I'll return. but don't try to figure out when, because I know you better than that, and my intention is to surprise you! Be watching and waiting for me, just as the watchman waits for morning. And when I come, the richness of all that this covenant between us is will finally and fully be experienced. Forever.

Communion that night was especially sweet. The price was paid in the Christ's death - the breaking of the bread - and then the covenant was sealed through Christ's drinking the cup of God's wrath which resulted in his blood shed - the drinking of the cup - and in that moment, communion with Christ is sweet and relationship with the Father is whole and restored!

(Side note: I've also never known that Ps 115-118 were the hymns referred to in the synoptic Gospels after the Lord's Supper... Since it's Good Friday, I would highly recommend reading them after taking communion, if you get the chance. My mind was blown in trying to picture Jesus singing those words after having just shared one last supper with his closest friends and as he anticipated what was about to go down in the next several hours...)

And I know less about you, but my heart loves you so much more!

Full circle: Chapter 24

This has been such a wonderful week leading up to Easter. For me, this is my absolute favorite "holiday" because over the last 4 years I have really been able to see that my walk with the Lord begins and ends at the cross. I say this because we have been able to graciously enter in relationship with Christ at the cross, because of his self-sacrficial act for me and for you, and yet I am daily called to the cross, to place myself on it, to remember that it is all about Him!

Reading this chapter was such an encouraging chapter and reminder; yet at the same time, it was so convicting. I am currently on Easter Break up in Washington with a dear friend and it has been such a rejuvenating and refreshing time. Time to walk, to think, to pray, to commune with God...which has provided for an immense amount of reflection time. Through this time, the Lord has really revealed to me that I have not been living simply. (Praise the Lord for revealing this to me!) I am filling my free time which I have decided we all have with things of the world. And it seems silly, but I would totally fill my time with watching a movie over spending quality time with God...even when I knew God was calling me to Him. Being up here with one of my closest friends in an new apartment with no furniture, no car, no distractions has reminded me to the simple lifestyle...and this kicked my butt...and then it was reiterated for me (funny how the Lord works) on the last page of the chapter, page 316, where the Lord has called me to live a simple lifestyle, "if we are engaged to the Lamb, the the call to discipleship is a call to simplicity." Bazinga...I am not doing this. Yes, I am involved in many things, but that is actually for once not what he is calling me and convicting me of; rather, it is with my spare time...am I using it well...no. I am filling it with meaningless and frivolous things. I have been able to just bask in the glory of God up here. There are flowers everywhere (and for those of you know do not know me...flowers are a love language to me), the neighborhoods are charming, and the air is brisk and clear. Living simply. I have been forsaking simplicity in Christ with the world.

In other news...and it will come full circle...I am so thankful for friends who really engage and care in my relationship with Christ. The conversations have been such a blessing and so glorifying to Christ. It was funny because one of the conversations I had a few days ago before reading this chapter, was about the simplicity of life that she has experienced since being engaged, and actually in love. FULL CIRCLE PEOPLE! Loving Christ, doing whatever it is to see your loved one (Christ), is what matters...and that simplifies things. WOW! I laugh at this because it is not new...and yet today and this month it was news to me. As I was reading about Babylon, I was thinking about all of those ways in which I daily fight Satan as he is trying to persuade me to be of the world, and I praise the Lord for those but I also entered with a repentant heart over the ways in which I have been forsaking Christ. It is all about HIM. It is all about me preparing myself for Him. It is all about dying to self. It is all about singing praises to Him, screaming "Hallelu Yah" to Him. I have been so encouraged to celebrate in the great deliverance won through the blood of the lamb. HE HAS WON...and he CONTINUES to win. Satan cannot stop Him. Evil will fail, it does fail. Sin will be trumped with Christ's love... "evil is overcome only one way- by the power of sacrificial goodness." (162). "The cross is not only the ground of our salvation. It is also the pattern of our salvation, the way of all salvation" (160).

Lord, forgive me for forsaking you again. Thank you for your grace. Please continue to remind me of your love, of how simple it is with you. Thank you God for sending your Son to die on the cross for me today, and for having Him be risen from the dead...for me. I praise you for your faithfulness to me. Please help remind me of living a simple lifestyle, that I am yours...I am engaged with you.

Hallelu Yah.

I feel like I have SO many thoughts about this chapter, but they're all really disjointed and scattered, so hopefully I can make something somewhat coherent here.

Since Emily's post about the blood flowing out of the wine press, I feel like all the blood metaphors have stuck out to me so much more, and they are so powerful!

First there's the whole Ezekiel 16 image of our blood - "I said to you, while you were still in your blood: 'Live!'" While we were still in our blood. That image is SO strong in my mind - the image of me squirming around on the ground in the muck and grossness of blood. And it's not just normal blood either, but it's messy, disgusting blood left over from birth. I'm helpless, I'm dirty, I'm exposed. That's where I find myself when the God of the universe passes by. And He says to me 'Live'? Really?!

And in the internal conversation of my mind, He says, Yes, Pearl. Really.

And then there's this image of my triumphant King, that just continues to floor me over and over again: "I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and wages war. His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns. He has a name written on him that no one knows but he himself. He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word of God."

Honestly, I just keep reading that section over and over again. The contrast between the filth of my blood and the absolute purity of His blood is so stark.

And then the obvious comparisons between Babylon the harlot in chapters 17 and 18 and rebellious Israel the harlot in Ezekiel 16 were a little too blatant for comfort. At least Babylon gets paid for her rebellion. I'm paying my lovers for the privilege of betraying my betrothed. Really?!

But even then, He doesn't forget His covenant.

I feel like I've pretty much been a mess of raging insecurities this week, and the old lovers look so appealing, or familiar at the very least. But I have to keep coming back to the image of the white rider, the Faithful and True. [side note: Gandalf, anyone?] Hallelujah for the blood of the Lamb!

Chapter 15 - Holy Week for Harlots

My favorite comment from DJ's Chapter 15 is when he writes, "Hang tough." and then follows with (Actually, hang gentle.) Page 297.

Lot of Harlot and bride talk in this chapter and reading.

Ezekiel 16 - (Jerusalem is a harlot) God speaks about his bride and says, "And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the Sovereign LORD. “‘But you trusted in your beauty and used your fame to become a prostitute. You lavished your favors on anyone who passed by and your beauty became his. You took some of your garments to make gaudy high places, where you carried on your prostitution. Such things should not happen, nor should they ever occur. You also took the fine jewelry I gave you, the jewelry made of my gold and silver, and you made for yourself male idols and engaged in prostitution with them. And you took your embroidered clothes to put on them, and you offered my oil and incense before them." He continues, "You engaged in prostitution with the Assyrians too, because you were insatiable; and even after that, you still were not satisfied. Then you increased your promiscuity to include Babylonia, a land of merchants, but even with this you were not satisfied."

What does God conclude about His bride turned harlot? "Yet I will remember the covenant I made with you in the days of your youth, and I will establish an everlasting covenant with you. Then you will remember your ways and be ashamed when you receive your sisters, both those who are older than you and those who are younger. I will give them to you as daughters, but not on the basis of my covenant with you. So I will establish my covenant with you, and you will know that I am the LORD. Then, when I make atonement for you for all you have done, you will remember and be ashamed and never again open your mouth because of your humiliation, declares the Sovereign LORD.’”

So glad that during this holy week I can celebrate that Christ's own body and blood perfected an eternal covenant that has the power to free me from the ongoing, daily temptation to use people and consume things as a mad, blood drunk, self-absorbed harlot.

My prayer remains that His new creation in me will work itself out by serving people through sacrificing things to His glory and revelation.

Song that encapsulates it all...right now for me

I cannot put into words all that Christ has been doing for me in this study and in my life...but this has always been one of my favorite songs and I really felt the spirit just say, "Post it." It is a daily reminder to me how much Jesus loves me and how powerful the cross it. It is titled, "The Power of the Cross" by Keith Getty. Look it up...it is a gentle song that evokes so much truth through Scripture. ~Cass

Oh, to see the dawn
Of the darkest day:
Christ on the road to Calvary.
Tried by sinful men,
Torn and beaten, then
Nailed to a cross of wood.

CHORUS:
This, the pow'r of the cross:
Christ became sin for us;
Took the blame, bore the wrath—
We stand forgiven at the cross.

Oh, to see the pain
Written on Your face,
Bearing the awesome weight of sin.
Ev'ry bitter thought,
Ev'ry evil deed
Crowning Your bloodstained brow.

Now the daylight flees;
Now the ground beneath
Quakes as its Maker bows His head.
Curtain torn in two,
Dead are raised to life;
"Finished!" the vict'ry cry.

Oh, to see my name
Written in the wounds,
For through Your suffering I am free.
Death is crushed to death;
Life is mine to live,
Won through Your selfless love.

FINAL CHORUS:
This, the pow'r of the cross:
Son of God—slain for us.
What a love! What a cost!
We stand forgiven at the cross.

"It is finished."

I have missed this community, but I have been encouraged by the posts. (I've kept up with them even though I haven't posted in a little while.) I'm still working through this past week's chapter of DOTE, but I really really enjoyed last week's chapter on judgment. Mmm, "enjoyed" isn't quite the word I want, but you know what I mean. I've at least continued to process it. I had to sit and journal out all of Darrell's points because I got lost in points 1-6 and subpoints A-G and sub-sub-points i-x... but once I did, it made incredible sense.

So, a couple of take-aways:

1.) God is never the kid with the magnifying glass out to fry army men on a hot summer day in Fresno (that was my brother... okay, and me, too.). His judgment is always aimed at the beast, not at people... but when people deliberately choose to take the mark of the beast upon themselves and adopt his character and attitude of hostility toward God, they will naturally get caught in the cross-fire. It's not pretty, but it's logical. It makes uncomfortable sense.

2.) If God were not wrathful, he would not be worth following. Because a God who isn't wrathful is a god who isn't "strongly settled in opposition to all that is evil." And that's a god who isn't holy or pure or perfect or any of the other things I know my God is.

3.) Judgment only comes after mercy has been lavished again and again and again. DJ says, "God is merciful because he offers a way out of the judgment... There is no refuge from the judging God; but there is refuge in the judging God" How does that work?!

And then the bazinga of the chapter was this: "The voice from the throne that cries, 'It is done' is the same voice that cries from the cross, 'It is finished' "

You guys, I almost wept as I sat and processed that statement. It's alpha and omega trinitarian bliss mixed with the beauty of redemption, mixed with the intensity of seeing the most complete expression of God's love and mercy and wrath and judgment all at the same time (my theology prof used to say, "the cross is the fullest expression of God's wrath and simultaneously the fullest expression of God's love"), mixed with so much more than words can articulate...

it's too much for me to wrap my brain around, but my heart knows that it's right and it's true and it's exactly what I need.

God in the Box

Reading through chapter 14 in DOTE I was hit yet again with a recurring theme God has been challenging me with in the past year. The way that we [maybe I should be using the term I instead] reduce God into a means so that we can process and understand Him. We shove and squeeze and push as hard as we can to fit this infinitely GREAT Yahweh into our box of expectations. We lessen God's awesome works by doing so. Making ourselves blind to His majesty by holding on tightly and creating inflexible traditions, plans, or schedules just to be comfortable that we have a handle on who we think God is. And then this image of our perfect "God in the Box" [as I like to call it] is shattered by Darrel's statement that bookends the chapter, "the question is NEVER "will I be a disciple?" the question is ALWAYS "whose disciple will I be?"' I would like to pose a question for every member of this blog/bible study/re-evaluation of discipleship: Do we take the bowls from Rev. 16 literally or symbolic as well? As mentioned in an earlier post, I mentally fight myself from creating that imaginary world as I read through books, so I find myself a bit questioning the literal representation or the symbolic representation of the seven bowls. Father, I destroy our delicate container we have placed you in. Continue, through this study, friends, family, life in general, to reveal to us the way you break out of the box and allow us to see a small glimpse of your glory.

Week 2 Throwback: Under Serious Love Attack

The chapters from this week really resonated with me because the issue faced by the churches in Ephesus and Smyrna brought to mind something a couple of things I've been reading/hearing about: the first is 'The Dark Night of the Soul', a term penned by a guy by the name of St. John of the Cross (though the book I read is written by a guy putting it in modern terms). TDNOTS is, at the root "an ongoing transition from compulsively trying to control one's life toward a trusting freedom and openness to God and the real situation of life". It's about how God will bring us times in our lives where our old habits, ideals, or even our very sense of who God is are made dead to us and stripped away, leaving an empty space within us to be filled. We get a feeling of emptiness, a lack of energy for the old ways of living, where we feel like all we're doing is regressing and stagnating, the absence of consolation leaving our hearts wondering and desperate---even our prayer feels dry and impotent.

What's awesome about TDNOTS, John of the Cross says, is that 1) Behind all this, God is obscurely and secretly using this spiritual trial to wipe out everything that is not of him, liberating us from attachments, and 2) there is one sign that comes at the end of the time of obscurity and wandering---the dawn of a simple desire to love God, to give all the empty space we have in ourselves to him, so that in his filling of us, we may remember how our souls are already in union with him through Christ. Once we realize this, affection and intimacy can only follow again. How can one not be excited about a relationship of this nature?---one where no matter what we think, things are never as they seem---Jesus is coming AND is already here working, in each and every heart. Me, you, that skeptical AGASA member sitting a few feet away, that co-worker who looks at what you do dumbfounded. God's united with our souls--- we must realize the basic intimacy that already exists and pursue it madly in love!

TDNOTS is God calling us back to our first love. John of the Cross and Darrell would agree that we get caught up in the ritual, the intellectual side, the spectacle, the simple spirit of the fight, or our own personal ideas of who God is can throw us off big time from what our relationship with God should be. I'm sure as heck that perhaps God had the church of Ephesus go through a TDNOTS to help them realize what it was that they had forgotten---and would probably continue to do so again and again. That's the awesome thing God does with TDNOTS---it is not a single event but a process that'll go on our entire lives, continually pulling us to pursue him. He keeps on saying "Ben---you've been hanging around with everyone but me. I love and miss you. Let's hang together again." The tough, but good shepherd and groom, our Lord is!


This last week, our good friend Zach did a sermon on II Corinthians 12. His sermon put focus on the thorns that are put in our sides during our lives---the external struggles that we have no fault in bringing about. "God takes struggles and makes them valuable and beneficial to ourselves and others". His two man points were that a thorn is good is because 1) it humbles us, keeps us from becoming arrogant and trying to fight solo, and compels us to draw together in community and be a united body of God against the troubles of this world, AND 2) unleashes the divine power of grace. God's grace shines and overpowers, outlasts all, and at its peak in your struggles. "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." (II Cor 12:9). The thlipsis faced by the church of Smyrna, as noted in the book, was outlasted, as the city still stands today. But it was not the city that outlasted it---it was God's grace, forever renewable, that did. So keep the thorns coming! I may learn a thing or two from it, sure---but nah, that's a mere afterthought to the fact that it is his presence that is causing the evil forces to frantically sting and crush me. Where that happens (everywhere, every time), God shines brighter and brighter!

I know I've said nothing new here---but the thought of the thorn made understanding what this chapter had to say so much better. Thanks God, for speaking through your servant Zach.

The things I want to simply say is that even when we forget our first love, when we become the neglectful and adulterous lover, God never will stop wooing us, and will use all he's got to bring us back to him. And that whatever thorns and thlipsis that come our way, God is using them to protect the beautiful rose---the kingdom of God, and those who desire to dwell with him in it. And I find that beautifully awesome. It's been a while since I've been moved to tears by anything I've read----God, you are good.

Out from Under Wrath and into Christ's Freedom

The topic of judgment has never been a fan of mine. I suppose it's due to my uneasiness of dealing with confrontation, or my realization of my own sin, or perhaps I feel a bit uncomfortable about envisioning Christ being wrathful. Either way, through this week's reading, I have begun to expand my understanding and acceptance of judgment.

On page 291 it discusses judgment as being justified. D. Johnson writes, " 'Nobody stands under the wrath of God, save those who have chosen to do so'. They have chosen, through their accumulated choices, not to follow God's perfect self-revelation, Jesus Christ".

D. Johnson has reminded me that God does not weigh the world down with his wrath. We do not stand under it, unless we decide to walk under it. God desires us to walk out from under his wrath, and into the freedom of Christ. Sadly, often times people don't accept his freedom. This reminds me of my unbelieving family, and my heart deeply hurts.

Christ, I pray for our friends and family that choose to do life without you. May they realize the fullness of who you are, accept the truth of what you have done, and choose to live their lives following you.

Help us, Lord. Help us to not be ashamed of who you are, help us to imitate you as best we can, and reveal to others the gospel in our actions and words.

Help me in all of this, Lord. Help me not loose heart.

Kissing and Cursing -- Christ's Guide to Dispensing Wrath

When contemplating the wrath of God and applying His perfection with my imperfection I can't help but ask, "how in the world can I still be here? I should have been destroyed long ago time and time again."

My question leads me to Romans 1:18 where Paul says, by the way, the wrath of God IS being revealed -- all the time. At that point, I have an "ah-hah" moment and say, "Ooooooh, maybe the wrath of God IS being revealed all the time against my old broken self in hopes that I would trust His Life and His new heart in me and allow my old body of decay to be destroyed in many different ways at many different times. In other words if I asked Jesus, when are you pouring your wrath out on my dead self Jesus? He replies, "I am all the time." Oooooooh.

From my "ah-hah" moment, I then stumble upon Romans 7 - "So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

From Romans 7 I'm nudged to I Peter - "These trials have come so that your faith of greater worth than gold which perishes even though refined by fire may be proved genuine and may result praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed" (FYI - That's a paraphrase.)

From Peter I imagine the scene where Stephen is murdered in Acts. I picture myself being killed like Stephen and I hear the heart of Christ in me saying, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them."

Then, I hear Christ in Moses (Exodus 32:32) saying take their wrath out on me God, so that I might be written out of the book of life and they may be forgiven.

I hear Christ in Paul (Romans 9:3) crying, "damn me Lord such that they might not be cut off from Christ."

I hear Jesus crying from the cross as He eternally bears the wrath of God and pours out a love that makes all things new, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."

I'm so stupid that I subject myself to wrath and don't even know it. The heart of Christ beckons me again and again to surrender my ignorance and allow His relentless, extravagant limitless mercy to flood my dumb reckless wrath deserving failures. Scripture says that the spirit intercedes for us. In my case, I believe He has to because I have absolutely no idea whatsoever the degree that I fall short and the degree that Jesus goes the extra mileage to redeem me.

What blows my mind and heart this afternoon when looking at this weeks study is this : The heart of Christ is unusually alive in me when my heart breaks for my enemies to the extent that I beckon God to curse me so that my enemies would be filled with the wonderful mystery of Christ's mercy.

"For God so loved the . . . . . WORLD. . . . that he gave His son . . . . (John 3:16) . . . .to be cursed.

A flag on the play!

Pg 286 - "When we violate God's law we violate ourselves: we go against reality. we end up ruining ourselves and creation around us".  Imagine with me for a second the Holy Spirit throwing a flag (like in football) every time we violate God's law/sin.  Oh wait He does I just so often choose to ignore it.  Not realizing that I am ruining myself and the creation around me. 

Lord, give me/us a greater understanding of how damaging, hurtful, destructive my/our sin is and help me choose you - reality!

Week 13 - Rev 14, DOTE 21

Week 13 - Chapter 21, Rev 14 -

Quotes that Stood Out -
“Every human being on the face of the globe is a disciple of someone or some ideology. So the question is never “will I be a disciple?” The question is always “Whose disciple will I be?” Page 267.

“The visual power of the book effects a kind of purging of the Christian imagination, refurbishing it with alternative visions of how the world is and will be.” – Page 268. Richard Baukman.

“The redeemed know that they belong to one husband.” Page 273.

“It was one thing for God to rescue the people of Israel from slavery to the Egyptians. It is another thing all together for God to rescue people of every nation from slavery to the powers of evil, sin, and death.”

After reading, contemplating etc. I keep coming back to these lyrics - "Once again I look upon the cross where you died. I'm humbled by your mercy and I'm broken inside. Once again I thank you. Once again I pour out my life." I don't really know if those are the correct lyrics but its what I hear in my head and heart as I read Rev 14 and DOTE 21.

"Once again I pour out my life." - We triumph through "the blood of the lamb and the word of His testimony. Loving not our lives even unto the point of death." Revelation 12:11.

Our God is SO GOOD!

Through this study of Revelation God has been really calling me to re-evaluate my view of our God. Reading through chapter 14 of Revelation has caused me to ask myself the question "if I were to sit and write down attributes of God, would wrath or even judgement be included in that list?" Being honest, I don't think either would. The list would be full of love, joy, grace, mercy...all the typical "christian" responses, but would judgement be present? Six times in chapter 14 alone does John refer to the Lord's judgement, and come on...the whole book is about His final judgement! And yet, would I consider it an attribute, a driving and prominent characteristic of God? How good a god we have that He follows through with his word! He is so jealous of us, of you, of ME, of His daughter Jennifer Nicole Harnett, that he yearns and cries of for my love and choice to die to myself and follow Him! He gave us the biggest sacrifice of his Son to, for lack of better words, suffer, just so that we [I] could have a one-on-one relationship with HIM!!!!! So what more could I, a sinner, a lost daughter, one of the fallen, expect when I choose to worship other god's? How narcissistic are we as a race to expect no consequence for our choices. And yet [still] He loves us and lifts up his robes and literally sprints to our return just to kiss us and throw a party in our honor after we dishonor and choose others before him. "God's wrath in the bible[and in life...yes, this is real life] is something which men choose for themselves...The basic choice was and is simple-either to respond to the summons 'come unto me...take my yoke upon you, and learn of me', or not; either to 'save' one's life by keeping it from Jesus's censure, and resisting His demand to take it over, or to 'lose' it by denying oneself, shouldering one's cross, becoming a disciple, and letting Jesus have His own disruptive way with one." (260-1) How much and often I forget the severity in which my choices effect my Daddy, my Yahweh. How much his heart pleas and is ripped to pieces when I turn away. And yet even through his anger and hatred of my sin and rebellion He wants my whole. My heart, my life, my body, my time, my energy, my everything. ME. All of it. Including the dirty and nasty messed up parts. Yes, the wrath is scary but man, oh man, how good our God is! Thank you God for your endless mercy and forgiveness and open arms welcoming me home from turning to other things. But most of all thank you for keeping your word and in the most complex and simple way, love us.

Grotesquely Comforting... TANATS

Chapter 21 has some intensely good nuggets of truth in it! Unfortunately, this morning is the first chance I’ve had to dig in to it.

DJ’s sample prayer on p. 274 really reflects my heart, even though I don’t use the words “I have a good feel for how the world is, so I think it would be better if I…” the underlying attitude is the same. One of my favorite things about Jesus is knowing that anywhere I go, he goes. Anything I see, he sees. Anything I feel, he’s there feeling it with me. So I’ve been kinda struck this morning by that last line of the prayer, “And you will come with me, won’t you?” And Jesus’ answer (via DJ’s interpretation) is not “Yes”…but rather “Here, behind me, on my heels.” Oh yeah… sorry Jesus, here I come. More than anything, I want to be able to say with confidence, “I am in the job I am in because I followed the Lamb here. I am in this relationship with this person because I followed the lamb here. I live where I live because I followed the Lamb here.”

Because I hadn’t read any of DOTE prior to this morning, what has been most impactful to me this week in studying “just” the text itself is the lingering imagery of “blood coming out from the wine press, up to the horses’ bridles, for a distance of two hundred miles” (Rev 14:20). I can’t get that image out of my head, and it has really become an image of encouragement to me, much like the throne room of Rev 4.

This past week has been super difficult. I have found myself discouraged, frustrated, confused, and feeling very hurt and defeated. And yet at the end of each day as I have revisited in Scripture the communion table where Jesus offers bread and wine to his disciples in remembrance of his sacrifice, the imagery of blood rising to horses’ bridles crosses my mind again and again. It’s almost as if my heart is reassured that indeed, there is blood, Emily. Blood to cover that. Blood to cover Judas. Blood to cover you. Blood to cover all those things you can’t fix yourself. That’s why there must be so much.

Honestly, I didn’t know such a grotesque image could be so comforting… but it is!

TANATS.

Let the Redeemed of the Lord Say So

I loved Darrell's repeated line from this last chapter: "But it was not always so."

There was a time when every one of us was madly in love with Babylon, and sometimes we act like we still are! There was a time when we all bought into the lie and lived the lie. There was a time when fear ruled our lives and we did compromise.

BUT - now we sing a new song. The song of the redeemed sent me straight to Psalm 107:

"Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good;

For His lovingkindness is everlasting.

Let the redeemed of the LORD say so,

Whom He has redeemed from the hand of the adversary."

The rest of Psalm 107 speaks of all the ways that "it was not always so" - the ways we rebelled and tried to do life on our own - and ultimately, how we completely failed. My favorite little vignette from Psalm 107 is this one from verses 17-21:

Fools, because of their rebellious way,

And because of their iniquities, were afflicted.

Their soul abhorred all kinds of food and they drew near to the gates of death.

Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble;

He saved them out of their distresses.

He sent His word and healed them,

And delivered them from their destructions.

Let them give thanks to the LORD for His lovingkindness,

And for His wonders to the sons of men!

Abhorring food? Really? We definitely ARE foolish when we come to hate the things we need to live! But even when we forget our most basic needs; even when we don't know how to keep ourselves alive anymore, He is faithful, and He redeems us.

And that's why Revelation 14 says "no one could learn the song except the one hundred and forty-four thousand who had been purchased from the earth" (v. 3). It's because we have been redeemed, bought back, that we sing. I'm sure we would still glorify the Lamb, even if we hadn't needed to be redeemed because we ultimately don't have a choice! Nothing will stop His Name from being glorified. But we wouldn't be singing the same song. There is a special kind of thankfulness that only comes from His grace, and we can't fully understand our brokenness until we understand His fullness.

It's just one more way that He's working all things for His good, redeeming everything for His glory.

Week 1 Throwback: Look Around You

“Truth conveyed in imagery transforms our vision more powerfully than the truth conveyed in propositional language.”

I love this little point made by Darrell---we are all very visual creatures: our eyes pull us strongly towards both the holy and the bad. In the former’s case, it makes me think of how if one is in want of feeling God’s work and presence, all one really has to do is look around. The expression of joy on a person’s face, the beautiful sunset on the horizon, seeing people treating the homeless to a meal. Hearing people singing praises, watching that child ask eagerly about Jesus, watching the rain that comes down to sustain life. There's something about those things that we find inherently beautiful, that give us a sense that there's more to this life than it seems. And if all those things are very beautiful to us, then what a happy day it is when one starts to see the dimension interweaving these things to the same reality!

Underlying this sensory smorgasbord, I’m slowly starting to develop that seventh sense of reality: God is working within us, our community, the Earth. He’s not far away playing us like Farmville---he’s among us lamp-stands, working every microsecond, sleeves rolled up and rocking the reality we live in. He makes beautiful things---but they are but mere messengers of shining figure of glory John sees.

The truth is all around us---God is all around me!

God Given Power and the Numbers Six Six Six

Well friends, this week is my spring break and I am excited to spend my free time digging into Revelation and Discipleship on the Edge. I hope you all are ready for my posts from earlier weeks as I catch up on readings and just throw my thoughts out here in this blog. Hope you all are able to enjoy the blessing of warmer (and dryer) weather this week! Thoughts on chapter 12 of Revelation: Who gives the dragon power and authority? GOD! There is not authority that is not given by God. SO....then why does God give the beast authority? To test people. To confirm his people with the question of who each persons allegiance and loyalty is held in. "There is no authority not given by God." Period. That's it my friends. No mas! No authority in the whole earth that is not God given. Man that is nice to hear, tough to wrap my teenie tiny brain around but OH so nice! Anno Domini. Thoughts on chapter 13 of Revelation: I find myself (12 weeks in) attempting to attach a physical and tangible representation in my imagination to the imagery within the book of Revelation. I keep struggling to create a mental image to the scenarios illustrated by John. So...666=Beast. With the marks on the beast worshipers to prove it. But NO! NOT the physical numbers, that is not the purpose of them. The numbers are the character representation. Ah! The people worshiping the beast represents the character of the beast which represents the character of the dragon which represents the devil. "The purpose of the number is not to identify the beast but to 'characterize' the beast." (250) Six is one less than the complete number of 7. Therefore John is stating that the beast is incomplete, almost but not quite there. Never will the beast be able to get to a position of completeness. Darrel says it best, "The best the beast can [possibly] do is six." But Jesus..."never fails, never fails, never fails."

Some Thoughts...

Hello Friends,

The past few months of this study have been so special to me. I love reading all of your thoughts and learning from the things that you are learning, and continuing to grow in fellowship with you all despite being miles apart. That being said, I am terrible at posting my own thoughts out of an unwillingness to be vulnerable with you all, and I am hoping that I can call on each of you to continue to hold me accountable to blogging, to sharing my thoughts and learning to be vulnerable so that God can continue to work in my heart as I engage with the text and share my thoughts with this “cyber small group.”

Lately God and I have been on this journey of self-revelation, looking at the condition of my heart and peeling back the blackened and calloused bits so that He can fully invade every aspect of my being. This has been just a little scary (not a little, a lot) as this process of journeying to a deeper level of intimacy with Christ progresses…I’m not the best with growing with people, let alone the Creator of the universe who already know every aspect of my black heart, and loves me despite that fact. One thing that has been jumping out to me through the pages of D on the E and the book of Revelation itself is that fact that we are marked people. We are either marked with the blood of the lamb or the beast. I’m finding that I long not just to be marked with the blood of the lamb, but to be bathed in it, fully consumed and wrapped up in it, and I fear that people wont see that as I go about my day.

I was comforted however by the words the Darrell (yeah, we’re on a first name basis now) shared a few chapters back. He writes, “People see something different about us. They look at us and yes, see our brokenness, but they also see the lamb and his Father. They see something about the goodness and holiness of the father and something of the sacrificial love of the savior,” (p. 188). Wow. These words jumped off the page for me in that as I interact with people, the Lord is allowing them to see that I am, in fact marked. It has nothing to do with me and my character, but everything to do with Christ and his character working in me and through me. Christ, may the words of my mouth and thoughts in my mind and the condition of my heart reflect you. May my life be one that is worthy of Your calling and Your gospel. May I not lean on my own strength and wisdom, but may I be seen as foolish to the world so that I be relying on Your wisdom and not my own.

On the same page Darrell writes, “To have the name written on oneself is to have a ‘character’ or personality, imprinted into one’s being.” Reading through chapter 20 last night I came across this quotation, which opened my eyes once again to the fact that my life is really not my own. “…name is a way of saying character. In the first century if you knew a person’s name, you knew their ‘character.’ The mark of Jesus Christ is that character of Jesus Christ sealed on us and in us by the Holy Spirit whom he sends to live on us and in us.”

Mind. Blown. Everything that is “me,” my identity, character, name, is not even “me,” but rather the mark of Christ sealed in me by the Holy Spirit who has been sent to live in me. I am not even me, but rather a walking representation of Christ’s name and character. My prayer is this, that I (we) would continue to live out life as marked people, marked with the blood of the lamb, and not my (our) identity in anything other than the lamb Himself; may I (we) not be ashamed of that mark, and may I (we) walk around expecting to be targeted, and be willing to share what that target is, the glorious and hope filled gospel of Christ our King!

Know that I am praying for each and everyone of you!

-Kurty

Dad, Can I go outside?

My kids (6 and 3) took two showers yesterday before dinner.

Why?

Because they are on break from school and they are insistent on playing outside in the rain and mud. They were both exhausted last night from shoveling, raking, digging canals (PLAYING) in the freezing rain and mud for most of the day.

They work with heroic energy but the energy that they exert to work in the mud is not done because they are forced to but because they love to! Their spirits' rejoice in their work. They don't call it work because it's fun. Their hard work looks a lot like play. Their work is drenched in freedom and joy. They are free because they participate in their outside activities because they want to, not because they have to.

From DOTE “Outside is the place of salvation. “Outside is where salvation happened and is experienced.” Page 264.

Dear God, invade my heart with your kingdom such that work becomes play. Drench my will with your grace such that I serve and strive not because I have to but because I want to. Give me your heart such that the joy set before me is to wrestle and toil in the mud and mire and bear the sins and wounds of my enemies like you did for me on the cross OUTSIDE Jerusalem.

Amen.