God Given Power and the Numbers Six Six Six

Well friends, this week is my spring break and I am excited to spend my free time digging into Revelation and Discipleship on the Edge. I hope you all are ready for my posts from earlier weeks as I catch up on readings and just throw my thoughts out here in this blog. Hope you all are able to enjoy the blessing of warmer (and dryer) weather this week! Thoughts on chapter 12 of Revelation: Who gives the dragon power and authority? GOD! There is not authority that is not given by God. SO....then why does God give the beast authority? To test people. To confirm his people with the question of who each persons allegiance and loyalty is held in. "There is no authority not given by God." Period. That's it my friends. No mas! No authority in the whole earth that is not God given. Man that is nice to hear, tough to wrap my teenie tiny brain around but OH so nice! Anno Domini. Thoughts on chapter 13 of Revelation: I find myself (12 weeks in) attempting to attach a physical and tangible representation in my imagination to the imagery within the book of Revelation. I keep struggling to create a mental image to the scenarios illustrated by John. So...666=Beast. With the marks on the beast worshipers to prove it. But NO! NOT the physical numbers, that is not the purpose of them. The numbers are the character representation. Ah! The people worshiping the beast represents the character of the beast which represents the character of the dragon which represents the devil. "The purpose of the number is not to identify the beast but to 'characterize' the beast." (250) Six is one less than the complete number of 7. Therefore John is stating that the beast is incomplete, almost but not quite there. Never will the beast be able to get to a position of completeness. Darrel says it best, "The best the beast can [possibly] do is six." But Jesus..."never fails, never fails, never fails."

Some Thoughts...

Hello Friends,

The past few months of this study have been so special to me. I love reading all of your thoughts and learning from the things that you are learning, and continuing to grow in fellowship with you all despite being miles apart. That being said, I am terrible at posting my own thoughts out of an unwillingness to be vulnerable with you all, and I am hoping that I can call on each of you to continue to hold me accountable to blogging, to sharing my thoughts and learning to be vulnerable so that God can continue to work in my heart as I engage with the text and share my thoughts with this “cyber small group.”

Lately God and I have been on this journey of self-revelation, looking at the condition of my heart and peeling back the blackened and calloused bits so that He can fully invade every aspect of my being. This has been just a little scary (not a little, a lot) as this process of journeying to a deeper level of intimacy with Christ progresses…I’m not the best with growing with people, let alone the Creator of the universe who already know every aspect of my black heart, and loves me despite that fact. One thing that has been jumping out to me through the pages of D on the E and the book of Revelation itself is that fact that we are marked people. We are either marked with the blood of the lamb or the beast. I’m finding that I long not just to be marked with the blood of the lamb, but to be bathed in it, fully consumed and wrapped up in it, and I fear that people wont see that as I go about my day.

I was comforted however by the words the Darrell (yeah, we’re on a first name basis now) shared a few chapters back. He writes, “People see something different about us. They look at us and yes, see our brokenness, but they also see the lamb and his Father. They see something about the goodness and holiness of the father and something of the sacrificial love of the savior,” (p. 188). Wow. These words jumped off the page for me in that as I interact with people, the Lord is allowing them to see that I am, in fact marked. It has nothing to do with me and my character, but everything to do with Christ and his character working in me and through me. Christ, may the words of my mouth and thoughts in my mind and the condition of my heart reflect you. May my life be one that is worthy of Your calling and Your gospel. May I not lean on my own strength and wisdom, but may I be seen as foolish to the world so that I be relying on Your wisdom and not my own.

On the same page Darrell writes, “To have the name written on oneself is to have a ‘character’ or personality, imprinted into one’s being.” Reading through chapter 20 last night I came across this quotation, which opened my eyes once again to the fact that my life is really not my own. “…name is a way of saying character. In the first century if you knew a person’s name, you knew their ‘character.’ The mark of Jesus Christ is that character of Jesus Christ sealed on us and in us by the Holy Spirit whom he sends to live on us and in us.”

Mind. Blown. Everything that is “me,” my identity, character, name, is not even “me,” but rather the mark of Christ sealed in me by the Holy Spirit who has been sent to live in me. I am not even me, but rather a walking representation of Christ’s name and character. My prayer is this, that I (we) would continue to live out life as marked people, marked with the blood of the lamb, and not my (our) identity in anything other than the lamb Himself; may I (we) not be ashamed of that mark, and may I (we) walk around expecting to be targeted, and be willing to share what that target is, the glorious and hope filled gospel of Christ our King!

Know that I am praying for each and everyone of you!

-Kurty

Dad, Can I go outside?

My kids (6 and 3) took two showers yesterday before dinner.

Why?

Because they are on break from school and they are insistent on playing outside in the rain and mud. They were both exhausted last night from shoveling, raking, digging canals (PLAYING) in the freezing rain and mud for most of the day.

They work with heroic energy but the energy that they exert to work in the mud is not done because they are forced to but because they love to! Their spirits' rejoice in their work. They don't call it work because it's fun. Their hard work looks a lot like play. Their work is drenched in freedom and joy. They are free because they participate in their outside activities because they want to, not because they have to.

From DOTE “Outside is the place of salvation. “Outside is where salvation happened and is experienced.” Page 264.

Dear God, invade my heart with your kingdom such that work becomes play. Drench my will with your grace such that I serve and strive not because I have to but because I want to. Give me your heart such that the joy set before me is to wrestle and toil in the mud and mire and bear the sins and wounds of my enemies like you did for me on the cross OUTSIDE Jerusalem.

Amen.

Re-evaluations

I love DJ's discussion of the wine press on p. 264-265. And the second-to-last paragraph of 264 is really powerful. Such grotesque imagery, and yet such a beautiful image (??) I echo Andy's (everyone's) observation: TANATS!

The take-aways from the chapter that I'm still in the midst of processing:

Decisions have consequences: I hate this re-evaluation. I wish it wasn't true. But it definitely is. Dangit!!

There is a Remedy for wrong decisions: Praise the Lord. And check out Remedy by David Crowder. (Bear with the images... the lyrics are powerful.) This song has brought me incredible comfort in the last 8 months or so. I'm still trying to wrap my brain (and heart) around how/why there is a Remedy. If it was up to me, I wouldn't give myself the honor of a remedy that I in no way deserve. Good thing it wasn't up to me...

Why be driven by that which is fallen? I like to think I'm "good" at not being driven by what is falling, but I'm not. This world lures me in ways I don't even realize. We (I) need to be constantly reevaluating what the driving force in my life is. Our chapel speaker yesterday prayed a powerful prayer that has stuck with me: "May my deepest focus be glorifying you, Father. May my deepest motivation be your love, Jesus. May my deepest dependence be on your power, Holy Spirit."

Our role in the world is to join the angels in announcing the gospel: This looks different in every stage of life, but the call is the same. Proclaim the good news! Even in the times when I feel myself drowning in the depth of my own depravity... announce the truth of the gospel - perhaps starting first with myself - and keep proclaiming it for all to hear!

Bottom line: a) I'm so thankful that there is a Remedy, and b) I'm so thankful that there is blood enough for the sins of the whole world.

Learning How to Die

So this last few weeks Christ has been plaguing me with his concept of being like the Lamb, and becoming like him in every way. When I say plagued...I mean literally plagued. Every message, bible verse, life experience has been pointing to this concept of giving myself away, dying to myself, picking up my cross, becoming nothing, and being like the Lamb. It has been an emotional journey of Christ wrestling into me what it means to surrender, humble myself, and trust in the power that is unleashed in becoming a sacrificial Lamb. Often times it seems as if I literally feel and hear the breaking of my own heart as I contemplate all that this means. My heart breaks in thinking of all that Christ went through and all that he has done in being our Lamb. My heart breaks as I attempt to follow his footsteps, realizing my own pride and heart ache in dying. Christ is working in me deeply and transforming the way I think, feel, act and see Him. In essence Christ is teaching me how to die, and revealing the power and beauty in that.


I have been thinking a lot about becoming nothing and giving myself away in everything I do (Diffintely I haven't mastered this yet, but I've had a couple trial runs). What has been revolutionary for me is that "giving yourself away" and "becoming nothing' in our service to others, is not always found within joyful and pleasent circumstances. Sometimes they are found to be in places of perscution, anger, disrespect, and brokenness. I can attempt to become nothing in service of joyful people, but it becomes difficult in service to disrespectful and harsh people. Regardless, I am called to die and love them the same. When people act out in anger, disrespect, and persecution toward me; I'm called to become nothing and give myself away to them. This is where it has been difficult for my pride, but also where Christ's power is boldly displayed. For it is in those hard situations of being the Lamb, where we represent Christ best. In fact isn't that what Christ has done for us?

I think of the night where Christ was in the garden praying, hours until the harsh stages of his crucifixion took place. He asked for "this cup" to be taken from him...he was feeling the beginning heart aches of what it means to die for the sins of the world. But He prayed out to God, "Yet not as I will, but as you will" (Matthew 26:36-46). And every moment since then Christ continually let go, became nothing, and poured himself out. It wasn't just one time...it was continually. With every moment of hardship he continually made the decision to become nothing. Every time a pharisees insulted him, every blow to his flesh, every whip of the cat o' nine tails, every step up the hill, every pound of the cross's weight on his shoulders, every hammer of a nail, every moment of laughter and ridicule, every minute that past on the cross....he surrendered, said nothing in his defense, became nothing, and continually gave himself away. Can you just get a glimpse of the power, might, and majesty in that?

And in the same way, He is calling us to do the same....ouch! It is at this realization where the pain, heart ache and tears well-up inside of me.



This summer's Barnabas team are currently going through this Sonshine Devotional and today's message hit me square between the eyes.

"II Corinthians 4:11 -"For we who are alive are always being given over to death of Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body." Death is the most vivid and thorough metaphor for complete abandonment and isolation. To be dead is to be completely detached. Christ's message and example brought a living hope to death for Christ showed that when you die His death of sacrificial love for others, your detachment actually becomes absolute communion with life. If you want to witness to dark, lonely hearts like Jesus you must die. On the cross, Christ's final exhale unleashed a chain of unprecedented events. The physical surrender of his mortal body created a spectacular, cosmic spiritual upheaval. Christ invites you to share in the immense, high stakes journey of his mission. He wants to shake the heavens through your death."

Lastly, I leave you with this song by Jon Foreman called "Learning How to Die". It is a great depiction of this inner turmoil about fighting to survive and live, but realizing all along Christ has been teaching us to die.

"All along I thought I was learning how to take
How to bend not how to break
How to live not how to cry
But really I've been learning how to die".

I could write so much more, but this is all for now. Blessings to you in your effort of learning how to die and becoming like the Lamb! Much love!

Passion

I got the opportunity, with a confirmation group that I help lead on monday nights, to watch the Passion of the Christ film. I think when it first came out I went with what seemed like my entire church to go and watch this film which "accurately depicted the death of Jesus the Christ". Before this film came out I had an Anatomist describe to me physiologically and physically what had happened to Jesus at the time of Crucifixion. To see it on the big screen in theaters, I thought, I've read this, Heard about it, and now I'm SEEING it?

This film was very upsetting but not surprising, in terms of how grotesque the images were! Last night I relived many of the same feelings of SEEING Jesus on the cross, body broken and blood shed! We watched it because some of the kids asked about it (we got permission from the parents to watch this film) and wanted to see it. Many times they would comment on the make-up or ask questions of who people were and what their significance was to the story. It was challenging and stretching, at times I could not reply because I was thinking about, or meditating on, the gravity of this sacrifice!

I was reminded of how so often inthe story Jesus had opportunity to reply like the Lion, but was sacrificed and reacted like a Lamb! The Lion is the Lamb. The lamb was slain, T.A.N.A.T.S.!

The kids kept saying, "How could those people shout Crucify Him, didn't they know who he was? I wouldn't say that" but the fact is THEY DID and we are all guilty in driving those nails into His hands and feet and flogging Him. Body broken, blood shed! I saw again last night the hammer in my hand trying to steady a nail. I HATE IT! I have Jesus blood on my hands, then I realize again ... I'm COVERED (as I have known for quite some time) in the Blood of the Lamb!

He offered it freely! He freely covered me (us).

This blood shed and body broken The Father saw as needed because of HIS love for us!

"The war in heaven is won through an event on earth, through the birth of the child on earth. The war is won through the life of a child. Through preaching, teacing, healing ministry of a child. The war is won through the ascension of the child to the throne." DJ. pp 223

This fact is far more powerful! The War has been won! The war is won Each day as we are about His kingdom, that is here, sharing His love. T.A.N.A.T.S.! We have no credentials, of this world. We have no metals, of this world. We have the Love of the Lord in our hearts and He DWELLS in us, He paid for us!

Those involved in this blog, we have quite a story to tell, and it keeps morphing as we learn more and more

This photo is of a stained glass window at our church in Orange. This weekend at the service all I could think is that He came as a Lamb!

The Lamb walks with pride (as a lamb knowing He was to be sacrificed) as He carried his cross upon the hill, so too are we to carry the cross and Testify that Christ, the unblemished Lamb, Loved us so! The war was won with the Lamb! Let's follow that leader Lamb! BAHH!!!

The Eternal Enthronement of Christ

The throne of the universe is not vacant.

Last week I had the privilege of worshiping God while watching the sunrise every day. It rained 5 of the 6 days. That did not matter. We would show up and it would be dark. We would leave and it was light out.

Psalm 18:28 "You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light."

Our God is faithful. He is completely complete. Nothing is lacking, our cups overflow. The dark places turn to light.

DJ says it all goes back to worship. Obviously, he means right worship - that is, worshiping the Living God, our God enthroned on the throne of all creation. In this past week I have though a lot about repentance. A heart of repentance leads to right worship. We no longer hide and suffer in the darkness when we repent and worship the One who is Worthy. Rather, we turn to the light. This Johannine language is synonymous with the vine and the branches (which should bear fruit). Both the Vine and the Light nourish our situations - however fruitless or dark. It's all going back to repentance and right worship, for this is when fruit is born and light overwhelms darkness.

Sometimes I doubt this power. I doubt His ability fill me up and sustain me. I let my miniature perceptions of what I think God can do take over.

This, too, was revealed to me through sunrise worship. Every morning I needed to wake up at 6:30am in order to get to the meeting spot on time. For the last 10 weeks I have struggle mightily with getting out of bed. Every day I would get up at the last possible minute, or just sleep until lunch time. None of this was enjoyable or controllable, it seemed. Interestingly, when the situation was soaked in prayer, I had no problems getting up.

Furthermore, for this past week, I woke on time each day at 630am. Now, I did not find this to be super strange, since when I snowboard I tend to sleep similarly since I am nervous about not waking up. On the last day, I realized some of the power of what was going on. I set my alarm and went to sleep. In the morning I woke up thinking I had overslept because I checked my phone for the time and my phone had lost battery. Unbelievably, I had woken up without an alarm on the 6th straight day of 630am wake ups. On top of all of that, I was fully awake all of the days and never needed to nap, which is unheard of for me, if I wake up that early (especially 6 days in a row, and without anything to do since it's spring break).

This all got me to start thinking about God's faithfulness and some of the reality of His work. Here are some statistics of the mornings based on my calculations:

5 out of 6 mornings it was cloudy as light filled the day.
1 out of 6 mornings the sun rose in the clear morning sky.
That's a 16.67% Sunrise Success Rate (SSR)

This is what I perceived. Yet, the sun rose every day! God was 6 for 6 on this one (100%). Clouds veiled my perception of what was really going on. The same thing happens in my view of God's power, and thus his enthronement. I do not notice my veiled perceptions and that I'm the one who is not seeing clearly, as opposed to God being the one who is not enthroned or powerful.

DJ helped me out with this one. Today is not March 21, 2011 anno Domini. It is not the 2011 year of our Lord. That's a veiled perception. Every year is the year of our Lord, who is enthroned for all eternity.

In light [ :-) ] of this, I am thankful for three things:
1) There has never been a vacancy on the throne of creation
2) Seated on the throne is the powerful Lord of creation, who is faithful to His word
3) The sun rises 100% of the time all the time. Test it. It'll come through every single time!

Spotless but not blameless

"And no lie was found in their mouth; they are blameless."

The Greek word here is actually amomos, which literally means "spotless" or "without blemish". In classical Greek, it was used to describe a sacrifice that was free of anything that would defile it or make it unworthy as an offering. It's the same word used in Hebrews 9:14 - "How much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself without blemish to God, cleanse your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?"

As the Lamb is a blameless and worthy sacrifice, so we too become blameless and worthy of sacrifice. Awesome.

Wait a second. Sacrifice?! No, no, no. I thought the Lamb was eternally glorified - that was the bandwagon I meant to jump on with this whole thing. Jesus, I think I must have been misled.

As it turns out, the actual Greek word for "blameless" (which is how most of our English translations translate amomos) is another word entirely. The word amemptos literally means "unblamed." Unfortunately the way of the Lamb does not at all mean "unblamed", and we clearly see Jesus accused again and again for crimes He did not commit.

"In the world you will have trouble, but take courage - I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)

It all comes back to being sealed but not safe. I am not unblamed, and He doesn't promise that I will be, by any means. But I am without blemish. When we walk with the Lamb, we become like the Lamb, which means we are worthy of sacrifice. Our worth and depth of meaning come when we offer ourselves up as living sacrifices to the Father as we follow the Lamb wherever He goes.

Evil mimics the true God, which is partly why evil can deceive.

No one can be God but God. When man, the state, the church, seeks to be God, it does not become divine, it becomes demonic.

The only way is the way of the Lamb. The Lamb was slain before the foundation of the world.  The way of the Lamb is the secret behind the universe. In the end there is no other way to go!

The Dragon vs. Myself

"It is because the devil knows the gospel that he is enraged. That is why things are so bad. The dragon is on a desperate rampage. In his death throes he is unleashing what evil is left." (225)

DJ's discussion of this topic really started me thinking about my own walk with God. Can I honestly say to the face of Jesus Christ that I have lived my everyday life with the active and feverish yearning to spread the word of God? Am I driven by the fact that time my on earth is so short that I must run and scream and do anything in my power given by my Lord to bring his glory on earth? Do I feel the same way about my faith in the victory of Christ as the devil does? We both know. We know what happened. Why Jesus died and rose again. We both know that the victory has been won, but are we living it out? The image of the dragon in Rev. 12 confirms his side. How frightening to see the dragon being a better "student of the gospel than the church [myself]"(225) and see him eagerly get as much dirty work [but work none the less] done as possible before Jesus returns! (224)

And yet where is most of my time spent? Where has my vision been blurred and distracted in my 21 years here on this planet blessed with the breath of life on God's beautiful creation? I'm going to continue off of Reid's thoughts, I have been lost in game's of the dragon. Especially game 1. How much of my time and energy do I find myself wearing the guilt from diabolos? Fighting to find worth through my own sin. How easy it is to let the dragon slip in and whisper words of total destruction into our ears!

But...the victory has already been won! WON! No if, ands, or buts about it! Nothing I have done or you have done or they have done will ever change that!

And now we overcome by:
1. the blood of the lamb!
2. the power of the truth!
3. and not being afraid to lose our lives!

Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will Be Done is coming and is being done

Rev. 6:11 tells us that the martyrs were to rest a little while longer, until the number of their fellow servants and their brothers and sisters who were to be killed even as they had been, should be completed also. Since becoming a believer in Jesus in 1970, I have wondered many times about who these fellow servants and brothers and sisters were. I felt comfortable with the "cozy American Christian" explanation that these folks would be the ones saved out of the Tribulation, and of course, were gonna get massacred by the then powers that be engineered by Satan himself. Well, it's been 40 years now, and I see our fellow servants and brothers and sisters in the Lord being killed, imprisoned, starved, persecuted RIGHT NOW, and this has been going on for a very long time. I get the clash of kingdoms, and I see why believers in Jesus don't or shouldn't match the world, we should behave and live contrary to the system of this world.
Doesn't the Scripture tell us we are in the world, but not of it. America, the place of my birth and
the place on Planet Earth I have been blessed to grow up and old in, is, inspite of the secular humanistic inroads espoused by the elitist, the media, Hollywood and the public education establishment, unions and the pantheon of gods many American's worship, America still has a
remnant of true worshippers, who hold the entire nation before God's throne, interceding greatly
for a return to righteousness. Scripture says, Righteous exalts a nation, sin is a reproach to any people. I guess what I'm trying to say is, we, who believe and say we follow Jesus, really like being safe and secure from all disturbances.

Modern historians have said that the greatest miracle of Valley Forge was that the army held together. Despite the lack of food and total absence of pay, despite the illness which was taking more than a dozen lives a day, despite the utter hopelessness of their situation, the men stayed.
And one smuggled the following in to the Philadelphia paper: "Our attention is now drawn to one point: the enemy grows weaker every day, and we are growing stronger. Our work is almost done, and with the blessing of heaven, and the valor of our worthy General, we shall soon drive these plunderers out of our country!" Wow, was that faith talking in our early days or had that guy lost it altogether. I say FAITH.

The rejected are becoming the cornerstones in North Korea, the greatest persecutors of Christians in the world today, yet the church of Jesus survives. They all have horrific stories to tell, but they want to evangelize their homeland nonetheless. Pray for them. We, someday, will all rejoice together.

There are just a few very teeny Christian bookstores in Egypt. When Muslims come in looking for Bibles because they wouldn't dare enter a church to get one, they do so very secretively,
hoping no one saw them. An Egyptian Christian woman who runs a small bookstore had been
beaten by three Muslim men so badly that the side of her head turned black. Then they dragged her to the police station where the police raped her and beat her somemore. When Tom White of Voice of the Martyrs asked her why she came back to work, she replied, "They almost
killed me. So I decided that since I survived, God wanted me to come back and continue."
In the last 3 years, VOM has smuggled 50,000 Bibles into the hands of Egyptians.
Pray for the Muslims who turn to Jesus, it is a sure thing that they are in grave danger from their own families as well as the Muslim community. Pray they remain faithful to the end.

Darrell writes in the chapter, The Cosmic Battle, "The suffering of the church in the world is not a sign of Satan's victory. It is a sign of his realization of defeat.

I remember many years ago hearing a Pastor in San Jose jokingly say to his congregation,
"I know I have the pie in the sky in the great by and by, but I want the steak on the plate
while I wait." Oh, really!! This kind of talk coming from a Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ,
along with the name it and claim it, and wealth and propersity messages that have come from
many a pulpit in America, don't jive with what our brothers and sisters are experiencing in
N. Korea, Indonesia, China, Russia, Afganistan, Uzbekistan, Tzajekistan, and a lot of other stans,
the Middle Eastern Muslim controlled nations, Africa, Myanmar, Burma and places I don't even
know of. Things are changing here in America, but here, it's more the enemies power of deception at work.

The suffering is not a sign of Satan's victory, it's a sign of the realization of his defeat. Even though the war has been won, the enemy will not surrender, (remember Pearl's story of the
snake with only the body still wiggling, it still looks like it can hurt you, but it's been decapitated,
it's just a matter of time.

We overcome by the blood of the Lamb (that awesome Lamb who was the only One worthy to
open the seals on the scroll) and the word of our testimony (12:11) The counter to deception is
truth. Practice the presence of Truth in our lives daily. He is the Way, the Truth and the Life,
no man, none of us humans can get to the Father but by Him. Practice being Truth Tellers.

Amen, brothers and sisters - To Him who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly beyond anything
we ask or think, to Him be all honor and glory forever and ever.

Like Lightning

Last week, someone shared with my a story that she'd heard at a missions conference, that speaks so powerfully of Revelation 12 (and has spoken to me super powerfully since then).

She told me about a missionary working with indigenous people in a rainforest somewhere (I forget where) who had a huge snake break into his family's house. So the family went to the people of the village where they were living and asked what they should do about the snake. The villagers said not to worry about it, that they would take care of the snake - but to stay out of the house until they were told they could go back in.

So the family got out of the house, and one of the villagers went straight inside and beheaded the snake immediately. But then he also told the family that these kinds of snakes were sort of like chickens in that even after they have their heads cut off, their bodies still act like they're alive for a surprisingly long while. So they waited outside while they could hear this snake trashing around in their house, knocking things over, and sometimes breaking things. And when they went inside, yes, there was some minor damage, but ultimately the battle had been over as soon as the snake had been beheaded.

Isn't this just like the dragon? He's trashing around in pain as he dies - he knows he's lost - but the battle is over. Someone who knew how to take care of the problem dealt with it for us, so we're just riding it out, knowing that the snake can only inflict superficial damage now.

And then secondly, I loved that Darrell shared about Luke 10 and the sending out of the 72, because that passage has meant a lot to me in the past year or so.

Almost a year and a half ago, I felt "sent out in pairs" to my work place with one of my very close friends. We wanted to get out of our "Christian bubble" and put down roots somewhere, really investing in relationships. Last night I was brought to tears listening to one of my co-workers who has come to the Lord since that time speak in front of 150 people about her unwavering faith in the Lord and encourage them to be diligent, to persevere, to invest, to put God as the first priority.

Friends, Satan is falling from heaven like lightning, and I am so encouraged!

Foreigner's 1982 - 'Head Games"

Through this weeks readings, the song "Head Games" by the band Foreigner has been pumping in my head.  Page 225, bottom,(Game 1) "John is telling us that the dragon wreaks havoc in the world by going around and accusing people, slandering people. It warns me about getting caught up in accusation and slander; to get caught up in accusation and slander is to get caught up in the dragon's game."  Bazinga! Ouch! Mama-sita! How easy it is on the smallest level to get caught up in the dragon's game.  Often, I am really good at playing his game, however the scariest part of the game is I have no idea that I am playing!  Better said, being played!  Page 226 (Game 2) - "John is telling us that things are as bad as they are because there is a power at work in the world.  This warns us about getting caught up in any deception, however small.  To get caught up in playing games with the truth is to get caught up in the dragon's game." Oh how often we followers of Jesus play games with the truth!  We fumble around and argue with each other that we have the corner on truth and we encourage other followers to believe our truth rather than THE TRUTH.  (Game 3) Hebrews 2:15 - says that the evil one keeps people under his thumb through the fear of death.  Another dragon game!  "If you obey Jesus, you are going to suffer.  If you obey Jesus you are going to die."  Here the dragon intimidates with the threat of death.  The really crazy thing is the words he speaks are 100% truth.  "If you obey Jesus you are going to suffer." - TRUTH.  "If you obey Jesus you are going to die." - TRUTH .

 Why then does this intimidation work if it is the truth? 

I believe, because we are so far down the rabbit hole of game 1 (accusations) and game 2 (Playing games with the truth) that game 3 (The truth about death and suffering)  wars against "Our truth" from game 2.  We have perverted God's truth (Game 2) so badly that when we are confronted by His truth we war against it with our perverted truth (See health and wealth doctrine in western church).

The only counter to words of deceit is words of truth, particularly, the truth about Jesus.

If we counter all three dragon games with the truth about Jesus....Jesus wins every time....He always does!

"WIT - NAY - ZEE - UM" - Rev 11

Now about these witnesses.....Darrell seems to suggest they are sort of everywhere - many times, many places. After reading the chapter I was brought back to two wonderful perspectives I've gained from this process -- 1. The Revelation of Jesus is not about information but reviving the imagination, and 2. Nothing new occurs in the book that isn't already addressed in scripture.

I've also heard this phrase, "Revelation is the gospel from heaven's perspective."

Revelation 11 is like a "witnessasim" Phonetically - wit-nay-zee-um.

Through the numbers and other metaphors you see Moses, Elijah, Law, Prophets, Christ death (with everyone running for their lives - honestly Jesus, how did you pick these guys?), Christ's resurrection, Angels in heaven telling the disciples "STOP LOOKING INTO THE SKY" (honestly Jesus, how did you pick these guys?) Old Testament Law - "two witnesses please!," Lampstands/churches. Again - "wit-naze-ee-um."

I'm left saying, "seriously God? You would allow me to be a part of your body. Your message. Your witness? Your legacy? UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!"

I'm sure Isaiah is wrapped in this thing somewhere. Actually, He has to be because every witness/prophet (thanks 1 Peter) is inspired by the spirit of Christ in them. I mention Isaiah because as I read chapter 11 I communed with Isaiah's confession - “Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips." When I read Revelation 11 I cry "woe. I am ruined. For I am a man of unclean lips."

In response to my confession God speaks through His word,

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

And freakier than any of the puzzling imagery of Revelation is this crazy proclamation!

(This is from Ephesians 1) I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, 19 and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength 20 he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, 21 far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. 22 And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, 23 which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.

My problem is I struggle again and again believing that such a great God would entrust such awesome power and authority to this flawed, fumbling, goof ball. The fact that God would put me on His team and entrust Himself to me is very, very freaky and difficult to believe. I find that way more intense and crazy than weird demon locusts from hell that afflict the hearts of men.

So, Daniel seals the scroll until the end of time. Jesus, who is the end of time, blows up space and time and the scroll is open. God tells this meat head (Steve Mann) to eat it and participate in the great unveiling of His majesty and mystery -Christ crucified.

(Pathetically wimpering) - Lord, I barely, barely, barely believe. Overcome through Pentecost, through your power and authority, my unbelief.

Clothed in Sackcloth

"And I will grant authority to my two witnesses [the Church] and they will prophesy for twelve hundred sixty days, clothed in sackcloth." (Rev 11:3)

"The nature of the witness has to do with what we wear. The witness that wins the world is clothed in sackcloth... We carry out the prophetic witness clothed in repentance because the truth always calls for repentance. How can I follow a new Master without walking away from the old? How can I live the value system of a new kingdom without turning from the value system of the old? ...We cannot announce the in-breaking kingdom of God unless we ourselves are seeking to live in that in-breaking kingdom. And we can only live in it if we ourselves are repenting, constantly turning from idolatry... The witness that wins the world is a witness born of deep repentance. It is, therefore, not a judgmental witness. Yes, judgment may be the final result if those who hear the witness do not repent, but the Spirit of prophetic witness is not a judgmental spirit. It is a broken spirit. We witness to God's kingdom from a place of brokenness over our own sin." (p. 210)

I really resonated with what Darrell had to say about the witnesses. I'm not sure what I need to repent of... I have yet to really sit with that one... but I've got a couple of ideas off the top of my head...

At any rate, what I really resonated was the last third of that paragraph. This is something I have been coming to grips with in new ways since the summer. I've always "known" I am broken but in the last eight months, I have really come to realize the depth of my brokenness, and have begun taking really (really) tiny baby steps towards actually embracing the reality of what I (sometimes affectionately, sometimes not-so-affectionately) call "Broken Emily." I would be lying if I said I even remotely enjoy the process, but it's at least a process in which Jesus has been exceptionally faithful to meet me.

BUT... what's cool about embracing the full depth of my brokenness, is that it has given me a whole new ability to relate to people. Because the reality is that we. are. all. broken. Every last one of us has an invisible "Broken" written before our names. That is the common thread of humanity, right alongside (and certainly necessitating) the common thread of "in need of a Savior." Grasping my brokenness has given me new compassion for people like gang members and sex offenders that our society rejects. Grasping my brokenness enabled me to show grace toward the people who have hurt me out of their own places of brokenness and hurt. Grasping my brokenness has given me hope for the judgmental pharisee that still lives within me and rears its head on occasion. Grasping my brokenness has reminded me of my inability to do things on my own. Grasping my brokenness has kept me keenly aware of my need for a Savior.

The bottom line is this: the best (only) way I can relate, minister, and offer Good News to this broken world is to do it from a place that is fully aware of the depth my own brokenness, fully aware of the depth of my own need for a Savior, and fully aware of the depth of redemption that's offered to me in Christ.

Brokenness, brokenness is what I long for

Brokenness, brokenness is what I need

Brokenness, brokenness is what You want for me

Coffee - bitter, but oh, so sweet.

This started out as a response to Steve's post below, but got fleshed out into it's own post pretty quickly. I think I might be about to take the scroll = sweet/bitter metaphor a bit too far, but here we go. (Also, I'm just going to preface this by saying that I'm sitting in Peet's right now with a cup of Sumatra.)

Maybe the scroll (and by extension, the gospel) is kind of like coffee. There's no denying that it's a really intense and bold flavor, and the first time you try it, it might be pretty overwhelming. If you try to down an espresso shot right off the bat, you might not be able to stomach it. Likewise, if Abba convicted us with all the depth of our sin at once, how could we stomach it? We would be overwhelmed with the bitterness and intensity of our failures.

So He's gentle with us, and maybe we force down a caramel frappachino first. It's a lot sweeter, but the bitterness of that one little espresso shot is still powerful, and it's all we can handle. We keep coming back for more because the bitterness of this conviction from our Father does have a certain sweetness to it, and we start to go deeper and deeper over time.

And by His grace, we're drinking pure black coffee before long! He enables us and empowers us (with the help of a little caffeine addiction) to stomach more and more of His Word. It's still bitter and it's still intense - don't get me wrong - but we're downing it because it's also so sweet.

How sweet are Your words to my taste,

Sweeter than honey to my mouth!

-Psalm 119:103

When Your words came, I ate them;

They were my joy and my heart's delight,

For I bear Your name,

O LORD, God Almighty.

-Jeremiah 15:16

Drink the cup, friends. :]

Week 8 - Preaching and Puking - Gospel Num Nums

Underlined Passages -

Page 191 - "I read the Revelation not to get more information but to revive my imagination."

Page 200 - What's the response to Revelation 8-11? "First, we need to repent." "Second, we need to intercede (for others.)" "Third, we need to commit to prophesying, to declare, 'Thus says the Lord'."

I'm not sure what "prophesying" and "declaring" looks like but I painfully relate to what Revelation 10 reveals about what it FEELS like.

Darrell suggests at the start of chapter 8 and at other places in DOTE that "the best way to FEEL the message of 8-11" is to read it aloud. Before you read it aloud and before you seek to preach your friends and family to the heart of Christ READ THE FINE PRINT!!!!

For me, here's how Christ message FEELS when I humbly surrender to it ---

When Christ leads me to His heart and when Christ pushes me to declare His truth, the message is sweet; however, the beauty and purity of His unconditional love and acceptance sickens this messenger (me) because it exposes the putrid, half-hearted self-possessed slob of me while working the message (gospel scroll) through the messenger (me).

The more I see His heart, the sicker I feel.

To eat the scroll and declare the meaning is to be sifted by grace.

I can think of dozens of movies and sci fi flicks to illustrate this next statement but I am going to leave them out of the picture -- I FEEL that the truth is - we taste that the Lord is good and consume His gospel but the reality is (and in this case John FEELS the reality) the gospel consumes you. You don't work it. It works you.

To summarize, a poem -
The better I preach.

The sicker I feel.
So let's have scrolls for every meal!

Or. . . . the gospel tastes delicious; however, it takes all of chronos and perhaps a few sweet moments of kairos to digest.

Amazing Grace how sweet the taste, that sickened a wretch like mE!!!!!!!!

Week 9

Last night one of my good friends at our Christian fellowship spoke on 2nd Corinthians 7. The passage and his message reinforced so clearly the imagery in Revelation 11 that I had to share.

My friend’s two main points on the passage were as follows:

A) We need to intentionally look into a mirror.

B) We need to intentionally be a mirror.

Paul held up a mirror to the Corinthians. They were upset. They grieved. But their grief led them to repentance.

Now jump to Revelation 11. The two witnesses.

A) “Clothed in sackcloth” (11:3) Living a life of constant and consistent repentance. Looking into a mirror.

B) “Because these two tormented those who dwell on the earth” (11:10) Confronting idols and lies with the truth of the good news. Being a mirror.

And through both passages, as witnesses, we are not called to be “a judgmental witness”, but “a broken spirit.” (D on the E, page 210)

As my friend said last night, “A rebuke without love is simply out of place. It’s judgment.”

Remember! Repent! Re-do!

Charlie Hall - "Come For Me"

I had the chance to hear Charlie Hall lead worship at Biola on Sunday night, and it was a really sweet night of worship for me. It was a super intimate setting, with just a couple hundred people and just him on acoustic with his drummer. He opened with the song "Come For Me." As I look back on it now, it doesn't seem quite as chock-full of Revelation imagery, but I'm going to share it anyway! I had never heard this song before and as I stood listening to him open the night with it, I was totally swept away. Click here to hear the song, and lyrics appear on the screen as well.

Looking forward to the day when "finally the voice I have followed for life has a glorious face that is lit up with light" and I'm "lost and consumed with my glorious King"...