This Past Week

To be honest, this past week was a very emotion filled week for me and to say my mind was occupied with other thoughts is an understatement. My 18 year old cat Lucy died on Tuesday and has had a bigger effect on me than I had anticipated. When I was reading through Darrell and daily through Rev. 8-11 I struggled to understand why God would give this revelation to John, why God would have me reading his revelation as a part of this study, why right now. However, Darrell brought it home with the concluding statements on the last page of the chapter. I simply want to share what really tugged on my hear while reading:

"Good? Judgement is good news? Yes, it is. For judgement says God cares. Judgement says we and our choices matter to God. Judgement says God take evil and sin seriously. Judgement says God is not indifferent to, not tolerant of, evil and sin. Judgement says that God moves against evil and sin." (193)

"The harsh realities of history sound the alarm that "something is wrong," and we had better get it right. The harsh realities of history sound the alarm that :you are going down the wrong road," and you had better turn around." (195)

"'God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pain.' Can you hear it? It is being screamed from every corner of the globe. 'Something is wrong; something is off. You are ignoring me and my ways. You are headed for destruction. Turn around.'" (199)

And then the last page:
"But there is a way through all of this. Jesus has made a way. He is the Lamb, slain for our sin. He can lead us back on track. The way back is to run toward God. Yes, run toward the One who has the right to judge, and you find a Lamb ready to receive you. Then to follow him. The way to life is the way of costly obedience, to follow Jesus, come what may."

"The seals showed the suffering church pleading for justice to be done. But the trumpets show the wicked wold being offered mercy. The offer is not accepted, and the world will not in fact repent: but let it never be said that God had not done all in his power, even to the devastation of his perfect earth, in order to being men and women to their senses." (200)

The White Horse

"Then I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse! The one sitting on it is called Faithful and True, and in the righteousness he judges and makes war. His eyes are like a flame of fire, and on his head are many diadems, and he has a name written that no one knows but himself. He is clothed in a robe dipped in blood, and the name by which he is called The Word of God. And the armies of heaven, arrayed in fine linen, white and pure, were following him on white horses. From his mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations, and he will rule them with a rod of iron. He will tread the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God the Almighty. On His robe and on his thigh he has a name written, King of kings and Lord of lords.

Rev. 19:11 - 16

So here I sit - reading all of everyone's posts.... just magnificent, and I find myself frustrated with myself. I lack many contributions due to excuses and things in the way, but I hate that. I hate that I see myself lose a passion in one place of community to put it in another. I have lacked my discipleship book through leaving it in someone's car, I've taught for the past 2 and a half weeksish, and I've been working hard to create community here.... but man, my heart needs to be stretched - I need to need God more! I've heard it said before that often we lack the full pursuing of God because we merely don't see how big of a deal He is. Clearly written right here in Rev. is a big powerful awesome God. I need the Lord of lords King of kings to stretch me! To show me again and again how to make faith and works combine - not teeter totter - with a faith then a work then a faith.

My heart wrestles restlessly. My teeter tottering habits get exhausting with each little push.

Did you receive the Spirit by works of the law or by hearing with faith? Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?

Galatians 3: 2 - 3

I ask myself these questions over and over again this morning... and Yes! yes I do! I have been going through Galatians while I lacked my D to E book, yet felt disappointed in myself for not being in the scripture "I was supposed to be in." But did God call me out! I cannot define my "success" in following God based on the mere actions of writing in a blog. Yes the discipline factor is a must, but following God and reading His word in general are the greater good!

This is what God has spoken to me and am I convicted. I feel like a dancing fool! Dance with me :)

The Lion and the Donkey?

I think the Shrek movies are hysterical, lets be honest, they are not for kids with their adult humor, language and violent scenes. What always cracks me up is how movies (scenes) pop into my mind. I searched for a clip of the specific scene from Shrek, but could not find it... sorry to all the visual people out there!

This scene was playing over and over in my mind as I read chapters 8-11. I also got this image during the summer as God was walking me across a old rickety bridge, I'm walking backwards and all I want to do is look down. He says to me, "You must focus on me (look in my eyes) to get across the bridge," All I want to do is look down. He then says. "I'm not telling you a list of don'ts... Look left, look right, look down... All I say is keep your eyes on me and we'll get to the other side, Look right into my eyes! Have I ever let you down? Eyes on my eyes, now lets keep walking!"

SHREK: You can't tell me you're afraid of heights.

DONKEY: No, I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over a boiling like of lava!

SHREK: Come on, Donkey. I'm right here beside ya, okay? For emotional support., we'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step at a time.

DONKEY: Really?

SHREK: Really, really.

DONKEY: Okay, that makes me feel so much better.

SHREK: Just keep moving. And don't look down.

DONKEY: Okay, don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down. Keep on moving. Don't look down. (he steps through a rotting board and ends up looking straight down into the lava) Shrek! I'm lookin' down! Oh, God, I can't do this! Just let me off, please!

SHREK: But you're already halfway.

DONKEY: But I know that half is safe!

SHREK: Okay, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back.

DONKEY: Shrek, no! Wait!

SHREK: Just, Donkey - - Let's have a dance then, shall me? (bounces and sways the bridge)

DONKEY: Don't do that!

SHREK: Oh, I'm sorry. Do what? Oh, this? (bounces the bridge again)

DONKEY: Yes, that!

SHREK: Yes? Yes, do it. Okay. (continues to bounce and sway as he backs Donkey across the bridge)

DONKEY: No, Shrek! No! Stop it!

SHREK: You said do it! I'm doin' it.

DONKEY: I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die. (steps onto solid ground) Oh!

SHREK: That'll do, Donkey. That'll do. (walks towards the castle)

This scene reminds me so much of my life... especially right here...

SHREK: Just keep moving. And don't look down.

DONKEY: Okay, don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down. Keep on moving. Don't look down. (he steps through a rotting board and ends up looking straight down into the lava) Shrek! I'm lookin' down! Oh, God, I can't do this! Just let me off, please!

SHREK: But you're already halfway.

DONKEY: But I know that half is safe!

So God says ... Don't look down... I trip or stub my toe and I LOOK DOWN! And I'm shocked at what I see when I look down (boiling lava, duh)! I can't do this... and he then says "I've already taken you this far! Lets go the rest of the way" and I say, "I know what my old life was like, I know that half is safe... the unknown and unseen is scary." RGGG... I then have the Homer Simpson "Doh!" moment. Yes He has taken me this far, yes I know where I have been, I know I need to trust... but walking backward on a rickety bridge only looking into His eyes, nor right, left down or behind!? Madness!

D to the E pg 199-

"Can you hear it? it is being screamed from every corner from the globe. 'Something is wrong: something is off. you are ignoring made and my ways. You are headed for destruction. Turn around.' The tragedy of this scene, of the sounding of the seven trumpets, is that not everyone repents. According to John there are two other responses. One is to want to die but not be able to do so: 'And in those days men will seek death and not find it; and they will long to die and death flees from them' (9:6). Death flees because God is seeking Repentance. Death is not the worst thing that can happen to a person. The worst thing is living unrepentant, missing out on life with the living God. So death is kept at bay making more opportunity for repentance. This sheer grace."

This is incredible! In my mind I see God as an Ogre sometimes, big scary and here we have been talking about the last few weeks that He is the LAMB! Like the Ogre, He has layers :) He is the LAMB! Things are not as they seem!

In the midst of my looking down, and thinking I'm putting up a fight against Jesus getting me across the bridge, He says, "I'm bigger, I'm walking you through this. Trust me! I love you. You are at the other side."

...

Wait...beside my fight and standoff with God, He pushes me, and then I look and I'm across the scary lake of LAVA! Jeesh God, YOU ARE BIGGER, I get in the way, and You get me through it! Being on the other side I realize, as Shrek and donkey did, they have work to do (save the princess of course).

In my pushing back at God, He proves why He is God, and I am not!

Father, may I be a good steward of the work you have set before (looking into your eyes, walking backward) me. My strength is not my own, You are the giver of my strength! Thanks God, you know what is best! You are not a scary Ogre, you are the Lamb!

Things are not as they seem! AND I LOVE IT!

Things are not as they seem

Things are not as they seem. This is the one statement that has continued to pry at me as each chapter goes on. I am continually reminded of how true this statement is with each day. The little lies that creep in, the choices made that seem totally "normal", the thoughts that go across my mind that don't seem like a big deal, but with each one I am drawn further away from Christ, his truth and his kingdom here on earth. We are so blinded.

In chapter 15 DJ talks about the phrase "those who dwell on the earth " refers to those who 'are at home in the present world order (of power and violence), people of earthbound vision, trusting in earthly security, unable to look beyond the things that are seen and temporal."

I get to stuck on what seems to be of importance, rather than God himself. I realize that I am too comfortable in this world as it is. The seal on my forehead does not stand out, it blends in too much with all this other stuff around us.

Things are not as they seem...Dear Lord help me to see them as you do, through your eyes, and through your truth. Let the seal on my forehead reflect your truth, and not the world's distorted version of it.

I DON'T KNOW KUNG FU, BUT I KNOW CRAZY

"Therefore, to be sealed with the seal of the living God is to have the character of the living God written into our minds and hearts. Tobe sealed with the Lamb is to have the character of the Lamb written into the fabric of our being. On the "forehead" implies that this new character is obvious to on-lookers. People see something different about us. They look at us and, yes, see our brokenness; but they also see the Lamb and his Father. They see something of the goodness and holiness of the Father and something of the sacrificial love of the Savior" (188).

I copied and pasted this quote from Emily's post because as I re-read my notes tonight from last weeks reading, this passage was starred and underlined several times.

DJ connects these great words to Ephesians 1:13, 4:30 and 2 Cor. 1:12. Reading these verses alongside his teaching/perspective was very encouraging.

At the end of the chapter he talks about not running and remaining strong as the kingdoms intersect. He almost sounds like a commander rallying the troops for an ensuing conflict. This fits Rev. 7 theme/imagery.

In the OT taking census numbers, i.e., the 144,000 and purifying (white robes) were very specific routines for preparing for battle. In fact, I believe every count done in the OT was done as a means to prepare for war. What I love about this imagery sprinkled here and there in Rev. 7 is that the battle is a battle of surrendering the weapons of this world - power, control, manipulation, political influence for (I know this is redundant but its still so necessary) self-giving, sacrificial, servant love.

Winning the battle looks a lot more like being martyred in love by an enemy than conquering the enemy through regime change. Christ's eternal signature statement for how to battle is not "death to your enemies" but instead "die, in love, for your enemies."

Christ's model for my life bids me to choose sacrifice. So, instead of crucifying my enemies, I give my enemies the weapons and political power to crucify me and all that I love dearly. My blood stains the ground and somehow by the work of the spirit His blood in my life poured out stains and seals a new harvest of souls for the day of redemption.

I like to use Owen Wilson to paraphrase this model of victory that Christ inspires: "I DON'T KNOW KUNG FU, BUT I KNOW CRAZY."

Plate Tectonics

Yes, plate tectonics is what really hit close to home with me this week. (I know, what a nerd) Last weekend I had the pleasure of watching a professional dance company perform, and what a treat it was! One of their works they presented was inspired by...wait for ITTTT!!!...plate tectonics! I remember watching the piece that concluded with a stunning duet occurring on stage as literally everything fell away around them. The backdrop and the side wings(sorry if I use stage lingo and lose you) dropped to the ground exposing the "backstage area" that only performers and technicians get to see. But this duet remained constant, and driving. The strength and power of these dancers kept pushing forward as their environment became more vulnerable as the "backstage" that is normal a mystery to the audience was being exposed! And yet the duet continued. Man and woman so connected that they moved about, around, separate and completely depended of one another.

"Beneath the earth's crust are plate tectonics, huge masses of rock that slowly, constantly move. Periodically they come up against one another and collide, resulting in an earthquake. The pressure, the crushing pressure, experience at the point where they collide is thlipis. The 'great tribulation,' literally, the mega thlipis, is what takes place when the kingdom of God invades the world and comes up against kingdoms that are inconsistent with it" (181)

What an amazing analogy! These constant plates moving underneath the world as we know it. Always in constant motion. Moving the way the Lord intends them to. We cannot control them, we cannot will them, and yet they continue on their paths. This is the then, the now, and the future of the Lamb's work. The constant motion, the constant moving toward an end, and what an end indeed! "Implying that something was happening then, in A.D. 96; and something is happening now!" (180)

The mega thlipis happened then, and is still happening now when "God's kingdom collides with the kingdoms of humanity in rebellion against God." (181)

Thank you LORD for the gift of sight! To see the human representation and interpretation of the mega thlipis. Viewing the constant driving motion occurring through two humans to represent something so much greater than themselves. So much greater then they can ever know. As their surroundings fell away from behind the performers, suddenly nothing else was important. Nothing else existed. Nothing but the clashing of the Kingdom of our slain Lamb who paid the ultimate price for our sin, and the kingdoms colliding with it.

Sealed!

"Therefore, to be sealed with the seal of the living God is to have the character of the living God written into our minds and hearts. Tobe sealed with the Lamb is to have the character of the Lamb written into the fabric of our being. On the "forehead" implies that this new character is obvious to on-lookers. People see something different about us. They look at us and, yes, see our brokenness; but they also see the Lamb and his Father. They see something of the goodness and holiness of the Father and something of the sacrificial love of the Savior" (188).

I think of Reid's "I want people to think well of me, but more so I want people to think well of You, Jesus [the You they see sealed on my forehead]."

"The seal of the living God is the Holy Spirit of God! "Seal of God," says John. The "of" implies something that is from God, out of God. That something is the very life of God, his Spirit - who reproduces the name, the character of the Lamb, in us; who reproduces the name, the character of the Father, in us; who protects us from the ultimate consequences of the great tribulation; who enables us to not compromise when the pressure intensifies; who enables us to go through it all and keep the faith." (189).

I have been growing increasingly in love with and thankful for the Holy Spirit in the last 18 months or so... he is SO necessary, and SO worthy of my devotion and following... just like the Father and the Son!

"These are the ones who come out of the great tribulation, and they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb. For this reason, they are before the throne of God; and they serve Him day and night in His temple; and He who sits on the throne will spread His tabernacle over them. They will hunger no longer, nor thirst anymore; nor will the sun beat down on them, nor any heat; for the Lamb in the center of the throne will be their shepherd, and will guide them to springs of the water of life; and God will wipe every tear from their eyes."

Washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb... love the contrasting visual! Since when does anything dipped in blood come out any color other than blood red?? It reminds me (forgive the juvenile illustration) of those magic markers I had as a kid... remember them? You'd color with, say, blue... and then you'd take the "clear" magic marker, and all of a sudden the blue became orange! i LOVED it as a kid! Same idea, on a way deeper and spiritual level. No matter the color of my robe, no matter the stains that are left on it by the time I "come out of the great tribulation"... all it takes is one dip in the blood of the Lamb and like "magic" (grace?!), my robe is white as snow!

And the image of the Lamb in the center of the throne being our shepherd... When I first read that on Monday, I literally pictured the Lamb walking out from the Revelation 4 throne and down to Psalm 23 quiet waters that are the spring of life, with the sealed (myself among them) following behind. ...And then it hit me: I am following not just a lamb, but the Lamb who was slain! I am walking through the blood that the Lamb is still dripping as He leads me to the water of life! Oh crap... uh... no thank you, not so much... is that an option? We're already following him... Shoot! (I hear the words of my friend Gob Bluth, "I've made a huge mistake!")

I want to follow the Lamb, but I still really don't want it to be at the cost of my comfort, at the expense of my agenda! How do you think the Lamb gets from the throne to the springs of the water of life? I have only one guess, but I'm pretty sure it probably involves (again) some degree of self-giving, sacrificial, being slaughtered on behalf of the team, servant love (again... and again... and again). Ooof, the cost of discipleship is so high! No thank you! And then, as I drag my feet in this processional out from the throne (which, by the way, I am SO grateful for the brothers and sisters around me, wearing their own white robes, who are willing to take either arm and keep walking forward, despite my deeply dug heels and temper tantrum - I think of Robbie Seay's "We Are Not Alone"), I remember that this path that I don't always (more like ever) want to walk leads to the water of life, to a God who wipes every tear from my eyes, and to unhindered intimacy with the Triune God for eternity... and my muscles get a little less tense and I dig my heels in a little less vigorously.

Sorry, Lord, for so resisting Your way of life... but thank you for sealing me anyway!

"Who can stand?"

Hey, friends. Sorry I've been MIA the past couple weeks. I've been reading all along, but haven't quite gotten around to a post of my own in a while - but He's reminding me how much more I actually engage in the text when I formulate a post myself, as much as I might try to convince myself that I'm just as involved by reading alone.

First of all, the question that chapter six leaves hanging hit me like a ton of bricks:

"Who can stand?"

It leaves me with that same no-one-was-worthy-to-take-the-scroll feeling that John conveys in chapter 5. I'm stuck once again by our brokenness and insufficiency.

"Oh, my God, I am too ashamed and graced to lift up my face to you, my God, because our sins are higher than our heads and our guilt has reached to the heavens. [...] But now, for a brief moment, YHWH our God has been gracious in leaving us a remnant and giving us a firm place in his sanctuary, and so our God gives light to our eyes and a little relief in our bondage. [...] O YHWH, God of Israel, you are righteous! We are left this day as a remnant. Here we are before you in our guilt, though because of it not one of us can stand in your presence." (Ezra 9:6, 8, 15)

No, we cannot stand, but before the seals are even opened, our God anticipates our failure and our need for redemption, and He seals us - marking us as His own. Just like no one could take the scroll out of His hand because it was sealed with His Name and character, no one can take us out of His hand either (John 10:28).

But then there's so much depth of meaning behind that seal as well. It's not just a name tag (even a "Name tag") or a free ticket, but it empowers us and enables us, as well as displaying our ownership to everyone we come into contact with.

"The days are coming," declares the LORD, "when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah. [...] I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people." (Jeremiah 31:31, 33)

Week 6 - Cosmic Bloodbath

"The tribulations are happening because of the love of Christ, because he is present, causing his kingdom to invade us and our world." - 175.

Acts 2:14 -21 --¹⁴ Then Peter stood up with the Eleven, raised his voice and addressed the crowd: “Fellow Jews and all of you who live in Jerusalem, let me explain this to you; listen carefully to what I say. ¹⁵ These people are not drunk, as you suppose. It’s only nine in the morning! ¹⁶ No, this is what was spoken by the prophet Joel: ¹⁷ “‘In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams.

¹⁸ Even on my servants, both men and women,
I will pour out my Spirit in those days,
and they will prophesy.
¹⁹ I will show wonders in the heavens above
and signs on the earth below,
blood and fire and billows of smoke.
²⁰ The sun will be turned to darkness
and the moon to blood
before the coming of the great and glorious day of the Lord.
²¹ And everyone who calls
on the name of the Lord will be saved.’

Revelation 6:12-16 ¹² I watched as he opened the sixth seal. There was a great earthquake. The sun turned black like sackcloth made of goat hair, the whole moon turned blood red, ¹³ and the stars in the sky fell to earth, as figs drop from a fig tree when shaken by a strong wind. ¹⁴ The heavens receded like a scroll being rolled up, and every mountain and island was removed from its place.

¹⁵ Then the kings of the earth, the princes, the generals, the rich, the mighty, and everyone else, both slave and free, hid in caves and among the rocks of the mountains.¹⁶ They called to the mountains and the rocks, “Fall on us and hide us from the face of him who sits on the throne and from the wrath of the Lamb! ¹⁷ For the great day of their^{g]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[g]} wrath has come, and who can withstand it?”

Comment - Seal 5 - no judgement.

Seal 6 - Full tilt cosmic judgment.

Revelation 1:5 - Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness

Psalm 89:37 refers to the moon as the faithful witness in the sky.

Like Jesus the moon is the faithful witness in the sky that bears witness to the light. Joel, Acts, and the Revelation make clear that the moon (the faithful witness) came down, and turned blood red and transformed the cosmos.

When Jesus refers to His crucifixion where he draws/romances all humanity and "alpha and omgega's" the entire comsmos, he proclaims, "Now is the judgment of the world." What an incredible judgment. I think I need to go re-read Darrell Johnson's It is Finished.

My Glasses

This morning I woke up and started rattling off what I NEEDED to check off my to-do list before I head to work at noon. And unfortunately, writting and being a part of this blog fell into that list. As I started to go back through chapters 10-12 of Darrel, the first lines I reread that I had highlighted earlier hit me like a stone to the head. It was the glasses. I wear my own set of glasses, individual to myself, full of my own personal frame of reference on life in general, on the world around me, but most importantly how I interpret the world around me.

"The question then becomes: is my perception of reality accurate? Does my frame of reference square with the way things really are? Do my glasses focus reality? Or do they distort reality?

Things are not as they seem." (p. 130)

My glasses at this point in time have distorted my reality enough to turn everything into chaos. Completing my 3rd week into this semester at Long Beach while taking 19 units, and working, and blah blah blah blah blah! My excuses continue on and on as to why my glasses are so distorting the reality that John lays out for me in Revelation 4 and 5 as well as the reality that I very well know from God.

"Chaos will not win! Before the throne chaos is stilled, chaos is subdued." (p. 137)

My challenge for myself this upcoming week is to allow Yahweh to shape and mold my glasses. I hear God's cry to subdue the me-created chaos in my life and this week I want to allow my heart to listen and learn. I want to grow my reality more into the reality in which Revelation 4 describes.

Darrel says it best, "With ordinary glasses we only give ourselves to other vocations, which although meaningful and challenging, are beneath our dignity. But looking through the lens of Revelation 4 we realize that the great end of life is knowing, and loving, and serving, and enjoying the great King."

On The Throne and Close at Hand

Last Friday, I started my Critical Care rotation in the ICU. I was apprehensive, to say the least. As I drove to the hospital with the sun rising in my rear-view mirror, I just remember thinking,

Lord help me to remember that your kingdom is not a far away place high in the sky. Help me to remember that it is the Unseen Reality that defines my day. May the ICU today be that rock pile on Patmos, where John was suddenly in the Spirit and ushered into the throne room of heaven. Remind me that all around the floor, and even within each patient's room, your kingdom is breaking in. Surrounding the bed and ventilator and countless IV drips are twenty-four elders, four living creatures, and a multitude of the heavenly host declaring that You, Lord, are holy, worthy, and glorious.

Truthfully, my day was a lot less intense than I expected, and I didn't think twice about that morning prayer until I was about 6 hours into my shift. But standing there, washing my hands at the sink at the nurses' station, that prayer from hours earlier came flooding back. This Revelation 4 picture is the Unseen Reality of my day!

So, fast-forward to this week. Yesterday morning, before my shift and after reading Revelation 4-6, I wrote "on the throne" on the underside of my wrist. My watch covered most of it, and I'm not sure that anyone on the unit noticed it... but I did. Every time I washed my hands, put on gloves, or reached for a chart, that truth caught my eye and ministered to my heart. Holy cow, did it ever minister to my heart. Here was my takeaway:

In a world where a father who steps in to protect his son is beaten within an inch of his life with a crowbar, where Traumatic Brain Injury isn't just a diagnosis on House, where no amount of medical sedation can ease the neurologic agitation and physiologic thrashing that ensues, I need to know that there is Someone on the throne. In the midst of alarming ventilators, beeping IVs, Rapid Response calls sounding over the intercom, patients groaning and families crying, I need to know there is Someone on the throne before whom the sea is smooth as glass and clear as crystal. And when I'm at my wit's end, when there's nothing else I can do to "fix" things, I need to know that the prayers I offer don't fall on deaf ears. Not only are they are heard, but those prayers are smelled as a pleasing aroma by the One who sits on the throne.

And that throne, that throne and the sea and the rainbow and the bowls of incense and all those things that I "need" to know are true when things feel so shaken up, that throne isn't in some high-in-the-sky, far-away place. That throne is here, among us. That throne is sitting among the the rocks on Patmos, and that throne is squeezed into my patient's room, into the ICU waiting room, into the cafeteria, into my car, into my apartment, into my classroom, into a Seven Crowns houseboat, and ultimately into my heart.

That, Emily, is the Unseen Reality that defines your life.

Someone is on the throne, and that throne is close at hand!

Things Are (Still) Not As They Seem

I have lost track of the amount of times I have read that phrase during the course of this study, and how I have interpreted it with my mind, but not fully with my heart. Over the past two weeks, especially with the reading chapters four and five, I have been trying to look at the world through another set of lenses, so to speak, and actually see things not as they are, but how God intended them to be.

When I first started at Berkeley, I was informed by a number of people that the armies of Satan reside in Berkeley, and it was incredibly hard to be a Christian with Satan’s headquarters right around the corner. This past month, however, has allowed me to see the Kingdom, living and active, here on my campus. Walking to class on the first day of school, I walked by a group of people praying, praying for the Christians on campus that we could be a light, and demonstrate His love to our fellow classmates, professors, and the community at large. I was humbled. Each time I walk through campus there are more and more Christian groups, encouraging people to come, and learn about Christ. Today, there were people worshipping beside a fountain, singing to the King for who He is. Again, I was humbled.

Later on this afternoon, I sat in a lecture for my early American women writer’s class, and we discussed the reading for the day, the trial of Ann Hutchinson. Ann was exiled from the Massachusetts colony for publicly declaring before the Puritan Church that she had had an encounter with the Living God, and it was not because of the good works that she had done, but because of the grace he bestowed to her. She declared that she did not want the grace of the church bestowed upon her, but she desired to be pointed to Christ, for all she needed was Christ.

Even in 1697, things were not as they seemed. Reading through Revelation, walking through campus and seeing and hearing how the Kingdom is at hand, I was reminded of how small I really am in comparison to how great He is. I’ve lost my first love time and again, and yet I am too proud to admit it because I want people to think I’m perfect, I want to think I’m perfect and totally capable to working my way to the top. My inability to recognize when I need to depend on Him has caused me to see the world through cynical lenses, and yet He still draws me near to Him, he reveals himself to me every time I walk through Sproul plaza. He calls me to wake up, to strengthen what remains, and live each day like the Lamb, breaking my alabaster jar, and lay my life down in self-giving, sacrificial servant love.

My prayer is this, that I would continue to allow the Lord to work on my heart, to continue to show me just how unseemly things in this world are, and above else, not to look for riches, but in everything I do, be pointed to Christ.

Christ on the Throne and Hearts on Things Above

The most profound truth that I have learned through this study and through all your insight, is that Christ is on the Throne. Christ is present, active, moving and involved in everything in heaven and on earth. There is an amazing King present on the throne that watches over our lives, has power to protect, and has sovereignty to judge justly. Not only is he present, but he is mighty in greatness and power.

As DJ puts it "The imagery tells us that we are, after all, dealing with Someone terribly awesome. The God who calls us into his presence, who calls us to himself, who invites us into tender intimacy is, after all, bigger than the whole universe, more massively powerful than anything we have ever known" (p.135).

This past month or so has been difficult and pressing for me. Most of my absences in writing has been due to circumstances of overloading on school, investing in various ministries, and grieving the loss of a family member. These circumstances have left me in a state of survival mode. The weight of stress has been pressing on and closing in around me. But I have been so deeply reminded that. . . Christ is on the Throne. As much as I feel the weight of stress on my shoulders, I do not feel like I am carrying it alone. I have been stressed many a time, but never have I felt like someone else is present in it with me. Its honestly as if Christ is relieving the weight to make it bearable. Despite the stress, I am learning to depend on Christ...and through it I have this amazing peace that Christ will work it out in time and in His will. He is on the Throne...present, involved, sovereign, powerful, trustworthy, loving...

" Since then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory". Colossians 3:1-4

This verse has reminded me this week that we must continually remember that Christ is on the throne. Let us keep our hearts and minds on things above; where we know Christ is seated on the throne, where we know He is the lamb worthy to open the scroll, where we know He is the center of all things, where we know that elders, creatures and heavenly angels will never cease to give Him praise. Let us focus on this reality and truth, rather then the circumstances, pains, pressures, insecurities, and worries of this earthly life. Focusing on things above helps to see the truth of who Christ is for us...He is big, mighty, sovereign, but also loving, sacrificial, and desiring of our hearts. He is the lion and the lamb.

One last thing, I have been really moved by the song "Revelation Song". I've loved it before, but through reading this study it has really come alive. Listen and enjoy. I am blessed by you all....

Grace and Peace

The Church as a sponge!

Chapter 6 in the Revelation and chapter 13 in D on the E gets CRAZY! The one point that stood out to me and encourages me is found on page 176 &177.  "The mystery is that in absorbing the suffering, the kingdom comes! Things are not as they seem. The lamb is on the throne! And because He is, the most revolutionary thing we do is join creation in crying out, "COME!" And then choose to stand with the Lamb and absorb the suffering that comes when His kingdom collides with all that is not Holy and true". Absorb, absorb, absorb.  In absorbing the suffering the Kingdom comes.  Thing ARE not as they seem!

Off Topic - Recap of Saturday Morning Post About Kyle

Thanks again for your prayers. Here’s what went down Saturday morning. Kyle woke up normal on Saturday morning. After being awake for about 20 minutes he began to complain about pain inside his head about three inches up from the bottom of his skull on the left side. The pain became worse and eventually became crippling. Kyle typically is tough. He’s sustained bruises, lacerations, and big knots on his head with little complaint in his brief athletic career. Driving to the hospital with him in such pain, tears down his face, screaming "make it stop," "please, help me," and in fear, "what's happening to me?" was, as you might expect, surreal. The pain didn’t subside and after evaluation the ER doctor said he’d have a scan of his brain and blood work drawn. As I sat in the room waiting for the stretcher to be wheeled to radiology I pondered who should I call, email, or text? My only thought at that moment was – the Revelation study folks. In a moment of great weakness and grief I felt great comfort that Christ’s heart would carry the day through your prayers and words of encouragement regardless of the circumstances. Fortunately the circumstances are that Kyle physically is fine – he suffered Saturday morning from a strained muscle which manifested itself somehow in his head instead of his neck. Putting circumstances aside, the greater lesson of the day is that Christ’s heart in you truly is a wellspring of life for those with whom you are willing to share it. I thank Jesus for you and the incredible life and heart he is fashioning through you. In a time of grief and weakness God directed me to many of you for comfort, encouragement, and hope. Thanks again for your compassion and encouragement. In Him, Steve

Jesus, are you SURE the way of the Lamb is best?

In the last week, I've been followed around by this Revelation 5 idea of "the way of the Lamb," this idea that the epitome of power and wisdom is found in the Lamb who was slain. I've been convicted of the countless times and ways I respond out of my own intensity, out of my "lion" if you will. This is wrong, I am reminded... and what is right is to respond instead by dying to myself and my agenda and responding out of a heart of sacrifice. I hear Steve via the SUP echo "heart of sacrifice = strength (strong leadership)"

This all looks real good on paper and everything... but let's be honest, we all (okay, maybe just I) look a lot better in our (my) intentions than in our (my) actions.

Tonight, I had my first really big power struggle internally between the lion and the lamb of Emily. Everything in me wanted to come out roaring over what was really a minor incident. I haven't quite come full circle to seeing why the way of the lamb is best... If I'm being honest, mostly I still think the way of the lion sounds better. So here is my dirty laundry for the day, the thoughts and internal dialogue within. I share this not as twisted "cyber gossip," but only because this is, in many ways, the same song with different words. I find myself in this place of confusion and justification more often than not.

There's this battle inside of me that says,

but Jesus, it's not fair!

but Jesus, don't I have the right to have a say?

but Jesus, I'm not changing everything just because one person doesn't like it!

but Jesus, I'm not the one who's wrong!

but Jesus, I'm the one who's right!

but Jesus! but Jesus! but Jesus!

And I hear the SUP echo, "You must be far more concerned with seeing [others] exercise their freedom and far less concerned with feeling that the full extent of your authority, knowledge, and strategy is felt and understood by your team... humility is intoxicatingly attractive."

but Jesus, do we HAVE to talk through Luke 6 again?

but Jesus, do i HAVE to pray for those who mistreat me?

but Jesus, do i HAVE to offer my other cheek to the one who's already hit me once?

but Jesus, do i HAVE to refrain from demanding back what has been taken?

but Jesus, do i HAVE to be merciful?

but Jesus, what about boundaries?

but Jesus, where do you - where do I - draw the line of sacrificial servant love with getting walked all over?

...Is there even a line at all? Am I supposed to let myself get walked all over? Is THAT "the way of the Lamb?"

No resolution as of yet. Just some annoyance mixed with anger brewing in my heart. Looking to this blog community for some insight... (and if not insight, maybe just prayer...)

Holy Crescendo!

First, before you read my post, read Steve's below and as Corsetto said, "lift up some bowls of incense to the one in the control room", for he, his family, and the doctors.

As I've read through Revelation 4 & 5 this last week different things have resonated with me each time. Pretty much throughout I've been ravaged by the image of the lamb, and Christ, wholly powerful and wholly wise, displaying his power and wisdom by becoming NOTHING, Mary's little lamb.

This last time, however, I was struck by two things. First, the seven lamps that are the seven spirits of God before the throne aren't just flickering, they aren't dim, they aren't even bright. THEY'RE BLAZING! How else could we expect Yahweh to display His glory?

The other thing that struck me was the resounding crescendo that of how WORTHY He is!

"Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to him who sits on the throne and who lives for ever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne, and worship him who lives for ever and ever." (4:9-10)

Whenever we (living creatures) give glory, honor, or thanks, WE ARE JOINED BY "twelve representing the church before the coming of Jesus, twelve representing the church after the coming of Jesus." (p. 139) Those before us and after us join us in recognizing that He is "...Worthy... to receive glory and honor and power" (4:11)

It starts with the Elders, then, when the lamb is revealed, the four living creatures (everything living) join the elders in singing of his WORTHINESS TO TAKE THE SCROLL, for he purchased men for God by his blood.

But that's not all folks, remember that the living creatures never stop singing that Yahweh is "Holy, holy, holy", there's no way they're going to stop at saying that he's "Worthy, worthy".

"Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders." (5:10)

Not only is everything living along with everything that lived or will live celebrating His worthiness, but we are joined by a multitude of heavenly hosts! I think this not only includes angelic beings but we are also joined by creation it's self. Even the rocks cry out people! The very fabric of the universe; protons, neutrons, electrons, neutrinos, dark matter, dark energy, gravitons, base plates of pre-famulated amulite surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing! All of creation cries out, HE IS WORTHY! He is worthy of all power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise.

We know a good God, people!

Also a glimpse of what is to come; "I watched as the Lamb opened the first of the seven seals..."

bum,Bum, BUM!

My son is about to have a brain scan. He has been writhing in pain all morning. He is pleading for me to help. Christ is in the center. Thanks for your posts. They have been an encouragement. Thanks for your prayers for Kyle and the doctors.

Week 4

These following statements really stuck out to me:

"E. Stanley Jones could say that the personality and way of Jesus are stamped on our nerves, our blood, or tissues, our organs. The personality and way of Jesus are "not merely written in the test of Scripture, but in the texture of our being." (117)

"If we were created by Christ and for Christ, then he is inescapable. You cannot jump out of your skin. If you revolt against Christ, you revolt against yourself. God has us hooked." (118)

The saying, 'I have everything' is a terrible saying when 'everything' does not include the living God." (123)

"'You are blind.' Even thought they used the expensive eye salve they were not seeing things as they really are. [Things are not as they seem!] They could see only as far as their physical eyes could see. They[They!]were, therefore, cheating themselves!" (123)

"What grace! Sheer Grace. He is nauseated by their lukewarmness and about to spit them out of his mouth. And what does he do? He opens up to them the storehouse of Amen and Arche!" (124)

And lastly: "Here I am! Standing at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." (Re. 3:20)

Last Sunday morning, it was the last day of a high school servant trip (KP camp for those of you familiar) with my church and God laid this verse heavy on my heart to share with the group of students who had been serving junior highers for the past two days. A few days after, I had an awesome conversation with a student I am meeting once a week now referring back to that verse and what it means/meant to her. God is at work, not only in this blog, or the alone time we devote while reading, or with the group of ladies I meet with weekly to read of John and Darrel's words, but on such a deeper level. Amen!

Rev 4 and Rev 5 - Here's Looking at You Kid

This question stood out:
"The question then becomes: is my perception of reality accurate?"(130 - D on the E) - Answer - No.

This stood out too:
"And the 12 + 12 most likely represent the twelve tribes of Israel and the twelve apostles of Jesus the Messiah." - 139.

How peculiar and bizarre must it have been for John to see himself in glory eternally worshiping Christ at that moment? I think to myself, put that in your identity pipe and smoke it Steve. Christ's revelation in me is eternally expressing praise in the heavenly places even while I flail and grope in this dark planet. Right now as I visualize myself praising Jesus in complete and perfect freedom in the heavenly places I feel a greater willingness to serve and love sacrificially. Perhaps that's one of the gifts of Revelation and this study -- a vision that enriches identity that positions body, mind, and soul for sacrifice.

"But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus." Ephesians 2:4-6. (Page 159 D on the E)

The Boat Driver is the Observer is the Rope

The fact that the Lamb has all WISDOM and POWER (raw strength) and is the ONLY ONE WORTHY to open the sealed scroll says the Lamb and the Lion (I keep seeing Aslan
from C.S. Lewis' Narnia) are One, as the Father/Son/Spirit are ONE Just as our Boat Driver, Observer and Rope are ONE and the SAME. Heart stretching - my mind has to try to keep up.

The pictures Pearl posted from Louie Giglio's "Indescribable" along with the other of that
series, "How Great is our God" knock me right out. I saw "How Great .........." on a houseboat
in Shasta on a Sunday morning for the first time. I was so overwhelmed I had a huge desire to
go down prostrate on the floor and worship. Imagine that scene in Ch. 4 & 5, the praises, the
worship, the uninhibited, transparent, pure adoration.

I am being overwhelmed with the immensity and grandeur of this study thus far. I know I can still call Him, Jesus, but I'm seeing Him larger (does that make sense) than Jeshua (Savior), but
the Absolute and Necessary Being of All Things, The Beginning/The Middle/The End and yet,
without End. It's no wonder the Hebrews could only write YHWH, who could give Him one name, let alone, one earthly all encompassing name we could all pronounce.

There was a song many years back now with words like, "I can see clearly now, the rain has
gone". Well, with Chapter 5 glasses I am beginning to see more clearly that the Lamb redefined winning. The Lamb is on the throne, Halleluiah
Rory

Look - A Door Open/Look - a Lion - Look - THE LION is THE LAMB

Wow, this study, not my first in Revelation, but my first in going deep, my first in being this hungry and thirsty to KNOW Him, whom I have believed. I was still revelling in Chap 3 and DJ's great analogy of the human experience of waterskiing in relation to the Christian life. The boat, the rope, the skier skimming along the surface of that glorious lake feeling like "could anything top this", many times I have experienced this and almost always I say, "Oh, Father, thank you for this moment, it is truly glorious" and then the fall. Arrrrumphh, life sucks, where's God when I need Him, why did this happen to ME" as the fall disconnects us from the joy and the glory of a mountaintop experience. And then the rope, always the rope thrown to reconnect us to the real Power Source. As I shared with Reid about this wonderful visual, there is another important member of this Triunatique (like Nautique but with Trinity...Trinunatique), the Observer. The Father may be in the Driver's Seat, the Holy Spirit has been given to us, sent as the rope to us to stay connected, BUT, the Observer, sees us fall, and up goes His Banner to show that we are His, and He's coming back to get us. That banner tells everyone else out there on the water boating about, "HE'S MINE/SHE'S MINE, LOOK, BE AWARE, THE ONE OUT THERE IS MINE, AND I'M COMING BACK FOR THEM". Look up, skier, be alert, here comes the rope, reach out, connect, and hold on, READY? And we all yell.................READY!!!!!!!!

-Rory

Yes, yes, yes. Truth, truth, truth. Amen, amen, amen!

So many thoughts... not enough time or space to explore them fully... Here is the wreckage:

The idea of blogging overwhelms me... because I can never decide a) what to write about and b) how to add any type of insight into what's already been written, both in the book(s) and on this blog. but DJ's comments have been deepening my understanding of and appreciation for the book of Revelation and it's been sweet!

I loved, LOVED all of chapter 10 - I think I most love that each element is crucial to who Jesus is... without the throne, or without the rainbow, or without the peals of thunder, he just wouldn't be the same. All that Jesus embodies, fulfills and encompasses needs to be addressed in the image we see in heaven... and it is!

"The [throne and lighting/thunder from the throne] imagery tells us that we are, after all, dealing with Someone terribly awesome. The God who calls us into his presence, who calls us to himself, who invites us into tender intimacy is, after all, bigger than the whole universe, more massively powerful than anything we have ever known." (p.135)

"We need [the rainbow] there after seeing what comes from the throne! ...The rainbow declares that we can trust the living One when he judges. His judgments are merciful and his mercy is just. We can dare to dream of a new creation, for the One who promises keeps his promise." (p. 136)

"Before the throne [the sea of] chaos is stilled, chaos is subdued" (p. 137)

Yes. Yes. Yes. My mind and heart just say silent little "Amen's" all the time as I read. Truth. Truth. Truth. Amen. Amen. Amen.

And then the beauty of the worship that takes place around the throne! So good!

"The twenty-four elders and four living creatures know who truly deserves such shouts. And they know why... The twenty-four elders know that they and the emperor owe every beat of their hearts and every breath of their lungs to the Holy One on the throne. No one else is worthy because no one else created us and sustains us." (p. 140)

Amen again!

And I haven't even talked about chapter 11 yet... but that one is incredible too!

Everything is on its head... the slain lamb is the epitome of wisdom and power... the foolish is made wise and the wise foolish... heaven is in the here-and-now... Jesus is on the throne... but he is somehow also the lamb... the language is rich with Trinitarian relationship... I am on my face with the elders and the multitudes... and at the very center of it all is Jesus Christ!

"Jesus Christ, the slaughtered and resurrected Lamb, stands at the very center of creation... Jesus Christ, the slaughtered and resurrected lamb, stands at the very center of redeemed humanity... Jesus Christ, the Lion of Judah, the root of David, the slaughtered Lamb comes from and stands in the very center of the being of the Almighty God." (p.147)

So naturally...

O Christ, be the center of my life

Be the place I lift my eyes

Be the center of my life

-Q

Revelation 4

This week at my church, the worship leader held an event where we watched a Louie Giglio sermon called "Indescribable" and then responded together to what we had seen and heard with a period of extended worship. It was pretty incredible, and it all just screamed Revelation 4 at me. It was just one more representation of how the Son is already eternally glorified and YHWH has already won. The kingdom is breaking through all around us, and I can't even imagine what it's going to look like when we see it in full!

I'm reminded again of what Steve said this weekend: I am absolutely drunk with irrelevance, but in the best of ways. Just like Darrell said this week: Look! Behold! And in looking - in seeing His glory and power and therefore your own smallness - do not be afraid.

Check it out:

At once I was in the Spirit, and there before me was a throne in heaven with someOne sitting on it. And the one who sat there had the appearance of jasper and canelian.

A rainbow, resembling an emerald, encircled the throne.

Surrounding the throne were twenty-four elders. They were dressed in white and had crowns of gold on their heads. From the throne came flashes of lightning, rumblings and peals of thunder.

Before the throne, seven lamps were blazing. These are the seven spirits of God. Also before the throne there was what looked like a sea of glass, clear as crystal.

Day and night, they never stop saying:

Holy, holy holy is the LORD God Almighty
Who was, and who is, and who is to come!

You are worthy, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for You created all things,
and by Your will they were created
and have their being.

Worthy is the lamb

Chapter 5 verses 1-10 have been "those words" that have redefined life for me. John weeps because no one can open the scroll, no one can answer for him the deepest questions that haunt him..... Oh wait the lion of the tribe of Judah can John, look there He is... And turning he sees a lamb as if were slain with 7 horns and 7 eyes. And then in verse 10 we are to reign upon the earth with/as the lamb does. To give ourselves away in self giving sacrificial servant love. Not as a conqueror or master but as a lamb that gives Himself away at every opportunity to bring glory to the father! We are taught to be that " lion" figure here in America. Strong, smart, and so on. But Jesus reveals what truth strength and wisdom is (7 horns and eyes) true strength and true wisdom is lambness! True strength is laying down your life, true wisdom is self giving sacrificial servanthood. We have been called to reign with Him as the lamb reigns. Any other way is weak and foolish but the lamb's way is all powerful and all wise! Read verse 12! "worthy is the LAMB that was slain to receive POWER, AND RICHES AND WISDOM AND MIGHT AND HONOR AND GLORY AND BLESSING.
The lamb, the lamb, the lamb! Not the lion, the LAMB!